No Mo' Mojo

I am pleased to announce that I don't have much to do tonight. Lately I've had to come home and freelance, but today either Fed Ex came to my house and picked up my package of freelance work, or someone stole it. Whichever.

I still have to take life-of-the-party lampshade dog for a walk tonight. Lucky for her, she gets to take her cone off when we walk.

And by the way, she totally ruins my cat mojo when I peruse the neighborhood. Usually, if there is a cat in any yard, I am able to lure it over to me for many pets. You really don't ever want to go on a walk with me, unless you enjoy watching someone crouch down every third house, saying, "Who's a pretty cat? Who's a beauuuutiful kitty boy?"

Anyway, not so much with the luring cats with jumpy dog, over here. She loves cats, but she has no idea how to act suave so they'll come visit. She acts how I want to act on the inside. "Oh! A cat! A catacatacat! I love love love you, cat! Look at me leap and bark with my love!

"Where ya goin'? Why the fat tail?"

So, my big plan is to walk the lampshade, then do some laundry and that's about it.

Oh, and thanks for the "eat protein" tip. Gee. It's filling to eat protein, isn't it? Huh.

I enjoyed the person who said for a heath blog, I sure don't know about health. Exactly! I am the least-healthy person ever. That's why I'm trying to do a health blog. Which, let's face it, I rarely do.

I have a friend who giggles at her husband when he's on a work call, because he always says, "Exaaa-ha-ha-ha-ctly" to whomever he's sucking up to. I hope she doesn't mind I just told y'all that.

When Marvin Gardensalad is on a work call and he asks a question, he always adds an "or" at the end of the question, with kind of an ellipsis implied.

"So, health benefits start after 90 days, or...?"

"So, you're looking for Jewish Chippendale's dancers now, or...?"

"So, you want to meet for a strawberry daiquiri, or...?"

Oh, and speaking of work, Girl Who Doesn't Get Me is starting to get me. And get over me, too. Today I instant messaged her with a request that she show me how to do something. She wrote back, "Come to my office anytime" and I wrote back, "Okay, I'll be there in the Renaissance."

When I got to her office, she said, "Well. You spelled Renaissance right."

So over me. So, ya over me, or...?

Comments

[Darla]

Oh June every day I come here to giggle. Thank you I needed that today. =)

[Sister Honey Bunch]

You know she really wants you to think she's cool, don't you? She's just nervous and acts all aloof.

[Kathy_Likes_Pink]

Good for you for not having any extra work to do tonight.

I am having an off day. It has felt like Friday all day to me. How disappointing to realize that (a) Ghost Whisperer is NOT on tonight, and (b) I HAVE TO GO TO WORK TOMORROW. Bummer.

[Nancy]

You're my health blog idol! I was even thinking a good diet aid would be borrowing Talulah's cone when she's done with it, or.....

[misskate]

I think she is totally warming up to you!

[Cristy]

I now imagine that if Tallulah (donchta love how every person who comments writes her name differently? i'm not even sure if I spelled it right this time) were a human she would be Will Ferrell from Elf and she would be "I'm here with my dad. And we never met. And he wants me to sing him a song. And, um, I was adopted. But you didn't know I was born. So I'm here now. I found you, daddy. And guess what? I love you. I love you. I love you." (well, mostly she would just sing the 'I love you I love you I love you' part)

[a]

Oh that boring lady should settle herself right down to enjoy your humor! I wish there were people like you in my office!

[gurlRUN]

i read "protein" somewhere in the blog - drink it. we runners drink boost or ensure before & after long runs. there are other protein drinks, the more chalky taste it is, the more protein it has in it. the girl at work - sounds like you've met your match. she's jealous of you and must hate herself. xo

[Tee]

Poor puppy. It must be so embarrassing to wear that lamp shade. I know she appreciates that you take it off to walk. Why would the lady at work be surprised that you can spell, don't you work editing documents?