Call Dr. Laura if you want, but I was unfaithful today. I got my roots done and I had to cheat on my regular person. She was not going to be in this morning and it really seriously was an emergency because as I told you, roots? You have no idea. And I am 80% gray, folks. It does not blend in in any fashion. It is like creme filling.
I am sorry to say that I really liked the new colorist a lot, although she is one of those people who do that thing that irks me where when she tells a story she says: "So she said to me, 'Mom, you know what happened in school today?' and I said, 'No, what?' "
You know I do not like it when people add in the unnecessary "And I said 'No, what?' " thing. It doesn't MATTER that you said "No, what?"! It is not germane to the story! We do not need to hear that part! Move ON.
So, we were having a fine time despite that, and then? Do you know what happened? (No, what?) MY REAL COLORIST WALKED IN! And she works right at the next station! Oh, I felt like a Jezebel.
"Hi, Jessica," I said sheepishly. "This was an emergency. They said you weren't gonna be here." Jessica didn't reply. I kept going, nervously pulling my smock. "It means nothing. It just happened."
Jessica put her purse in the drawer and headed for the back room.
"I was drunk!" I shouted after her.
I have to tell you, though, my infidelity was totally worth it because my hair looks lovely. Which is good because I had to head right over to the crafty craft women fair that several of my blogging pals were having.
I have no craft skills. At all. I have trouble sticking a card in the envelope nicely. So I am deeply appreciative of women who can do such things. And all the cool girls were there.
Look! There's Chatting at the Sky (left) and her sister The Nester (right). They were some of my first blog pals, and helped me buy a house in Greensboro. I don't mean they chipped in for the down payment, which would have been nice, but they told me which neighborhoods were good and such. Then one day I was shootin' at some food, or perhaps I was unloading the car after a day at Target, and the two of them just DROVE UP from out of nowhere! They totally figured out where my new house was. This picture had to be taken with a telephoto lens, due to the whole restraining order I took out on them, but it turned out pretty well, no?
Also, Nester introduced me to one of her friends who apparently reads my blog. At least I HOPE that's why she did what she did. Nester said, "Here she is! This is June!" and her friend BOWED BEFORE ME!
Okay, it was my first bowing? But I hope it is not my last.
I am thinking this is something I should implement at work, when people come in to talk to me or whatever. Also, I think Marvin should take it up. Totally works for me.
And here is one of my newer pals, Lauren, who is getting married in like eight minutes. Look at how our hair looks the same! Except I worry that maybe her color is natural. I do not know why I am touching myself like I am pledging allegiance. Anyway, Lauren figured out through our blogs that we lived near each other, so we met at the dog park recently. Blogging. An excellent way to end up sliced into hundreds of tiny pieces.
I ended up buying a new necklace:
Seriously? I have GOT TO STOP TOUCHING MYSELF.
And I got a really cool pin from The Nester:
I have the feeling Nester is one of those friends who every time you see her she has a little gift for you. Do not ask my why I am wearing a different shirt in every photo. Not only were these all taken in one day, they were all taken in about a 45-minute span of time. I do wardrobe changes just sittin' around my house. What can I tell you?
And finally, what craft show would be complete without one of The Nester's tassels?
I am certain she meant it to be displayed this way. Particularly with the can of almonds and the corkscrew. My tassel looks like 1-2-3 Jello, as it is darker pink on the bottom and it gets lighter as you go up. And on top, there? A tiara. Hello? The perfect June tassel? I am thinking yes.
Yay, other people. They have talent, so I don't have to!
