Marvin has been up since 5:00, but the second he heard my alarm, he DASHED into the bathroom, and now I am sitting here in great discomfort typing you. Remember when I thought it'd be charming to live in an elderly house, even though it had only one bathroom? Yeah.
And while we're on the subject of Marvin, last night Tallulah and I crawled into bed first, because it's important for Marvin to putter around the house needlessly for several minutes after he's announced he's going to do something like (a) leave or (b) go to bed. So, Lula was pawing at her face, and I found an ant on her just as Marvin walked into the room. "How'd she get an ANT on her?" he asked, appalled. "Well, she just came in from outside. I assume one got on her there," I said.
For the next half-hour, was Marvin having Vietnam flashbacks at all, with the slapping imaginary ants and leaping out of bed and throwing back the sheets and turning on the lights because he thought there were ants?
"I can HEAR them," he said. "Can't you HEAR them?"
"I hear Henry purring."
"No, there's a WHIRRING sound. You can't hear that whirring sound?" he asked. "Those are CICADAS," I insisted. But no. Marvin said it was a different whirring. That the ants were communicating that it was okay to get in our bed.
I eventually got up and slept in the guest bed. After a few minutes, Tallulah joined me. We slept marvelously. There's a rubber-tree plant in the other bed this morning. Don't know why.
At any rate.
I know I have brought you pain. I know I have brought you tears. I know I have brought you earth-shattering ennui and that slight twitch in your left eye, but now? I bring you buttons. Courtesy of DCRMom.
Before Marvin got panicked by ants, he sat here last night and did code-y things for each button. He said you copy that code to put these on your blog. Or on your bog, if you have one. Or even on your clog.
All's I'm saying is don't come crying to me to ask how to put these up, as you know I have no idea. Is there anyone smart out there who can leave directions for others who hate computers as I do? Thanks.
href=”http://byebyepie.typepad.com/”><img src=”http://byebyepie.typepad.com/photos/buttons/team-june.jpg”>
href=”http://byebyepie.typepad.com/”><img src=”http://byebyepie.typepad.com/photos/buttons/team-fran.jpg”>
href=”http://byebyepie.typepad.com/”><img src=”http://byebyepie.typepad.com/photos/buttons/team-henry.jpg”>
href=”http://byebyepie.typepad.com/”><img src=”http://byebyepie.typepad.com/photos/buttons/team-winston.jpg”>
href=”http://byebyepie.typepad.com/”><img src=”http://byebyepie.typepad.com/photos/buttons/team-lula.jpg”>
href=”http://byebyepie.typepad.com/”><img src=”http://byebyepie.typepad.com/photos/buttons/team-marvin.jpg”>





Poor Marvin. I totally sympathize. I hate ants. Maybe for fun you should rent all those giant killer ant movies to watch together tonight? Here are some choices:
Them!
Ants
Killer Ants
Legion of Fire: Killer Ants
Empire of the Ants
Phase IV
Because my dad is a whackadoo...I have actually seen most of these. He (my dad) just has such a thing for mutant/killer animal/insect movies. His favorite: Night of the Lepus (giant rabbits). Save this one for when Tallulah finds a rabbit in the yard.
Posted by: Amy | 15 July 2009 at 07:39 AM
I am joining TEAM HENRY, after much worry and indecision. I definitely want his button for my blog but have no idea how to do it.
Posted by: Nancy McKee | 15 July 2009 at 07:40 AM
All of the buttons are cute and I love them all. Didn't vote because I am just that fickle and non-commital. I don't have a bog, err, or a blog, so I'm not sure what I'd do with one. If, I ummm, actually knew what to do with one.
Posted by: Laurie | 15 July 2009 at 07:45 AM
ROFL @ the Rubber Tree Plant. And while I wanted a Team Henry - sorry Juney - I had to snatch the Team June cuz it goes with my whole blindingly pink, pepto bismol look my blog is throwing down!
Posted by: April | 15 July 2009 at 08:31 AM
Well, first I opened a new tab under File on Firefox (or Explorer or whatever you use). I right clicked on the button picture, saved it as Team June in My Pictures on my puter then went into my blog Layout page then Add a Gadget then Picture. I clicked Browse, added the picture and went back to your blog in the other tab/page and copied your address from the address bar and went back to the Add a Picture window and pasted it into the HTML line. It works fine this way.
I tried copying the code under my button from your post today but that didn't work the way I tried it. I tried Add a Gadget and HTML code and pasting it there but it only came up on my blog as the code and not my button. I had to go back in and remove that so I could do it the way I described above.
Is your hair on fire yet from reading all that?
Posted by: Rebekah | 15 July 2009 at 08:55 AM
Dear Rebekah,
I lost interest after "tab."
I hate computers, did you know that? But thanks for telling other people how to do this!
XO,
June
Posted by: June | 15 July 2009 at 09:00 AM
I'm job hunting (ack) so I am considering putting this button on my resume under achievements (I don't really have alot of those so maybe it would throw off the interviewer and they would be suffiently stunned enough to move on in the interview).
I don't have a blog so really, what's a girl who likes to run with the in crowd to do?
Posted by: deb stone | 15 July 2009 at 09:11 AM
I vote for Team Gardensalad since I can't make up my mind! Where's that button? lol!
Posted by: susan | 15 July 2009 at 09:23 AM
From my limited knowledge of HTML, I think you need to add "
Posted by: Jessica | 15 July 2009 at 09:50 AM
Yeah, it's not working. Team Marvin is SO going to lose members now.
Posted by: brenda | 15 July 2009 at 10:31 AM
It toally can be done. Go look at mrsohtobe.blogspot.com She's got it up, so to speak.
Posted by: June | 15 July 2009 at 10:52 AM
Uhhhh, just so Marvin knows: ants don't whirr.
Cicadas? Yes.
Kitten purring? Check.
Ants? Not so much.
My lovely husband also freaks out about bugs. Spiders send him through the roof! It's really quite funny!
Posted by: Your Pal from MA | 15 July 2009 at 11:29 AM
I have it working, and I didn't have to do anything with html. It was very easy in blogger. :) TEAM MARVIN.
Posted by: Sharone | 15 July 2009 at 11:40 AM
Would Marvin be as freaked out if he had Aunts in his bed as opposed to ants?
Sorry June but can not figure out the button, button whose got the button. I'm totally fignerant.
Posted by: Gladys | 15 July 2009 at 11:41 AM
Could you please ask Rebekah to post the explanation in English? I do not understand Farsi.
I got to "tab" and then I was all, "Me no know how do dis. Must get dog. Zali! Mommy in da well! Fetch Help! Good Boy!"
Me no make button today.
Posted by: The Furry Godmother | 15 July 2009 at 11:49 AM
Here Furry let me translate. Go to the button you want. Click on it. Say lots of cuss words then try to find "file". Click on everything on June's page. Get frustrated go to Pie Neer Woman. Get pissed because you AGAIN didn't win a prize. Come back to Junes blog and try to go throught he steps again. Look out the window, watch the bunnies eat the last of your plants. Look back at Junes blog and try to remember what you were doing.
there does that help?
Posted by: Gladys | 15 July 2009 at 12:01 PM
Ok, my new "Team Lula" button is on my blog!
I don't know why anyone bothers with that code stuff. Just right click on the button you want, and save it to your desktop. Then go to your own blog and do the "add a gadget thing", and add it as a picture. I linked the button back to June's blog, but you don't have to. You can just put the button there and make people wonder.
I know someone up ahead of me already went through this way easier method of putting the button on your blog, but I thought it was worth repeating.
Posted by: Shelley | 15 July 2009 at 12:11 PM
I had to laugh when you mentioned that Marvin always has to putter after he says he's going to leave. My husband does the same and it makes me crazy. First off, if we're going somewhere together, I'm almost always ready first. When DH is finally ready, he'll urge me to come on and then he'll have to go to the bathroom or get a drink of water or look for his keys - you get the picture - while I wait some more. Or he'll open the car door for me and on his way around the car to get in on his side, he'll decide he needs to check the oil or set up the sprinkler in the yard, or visit with the neighbor, etc. We live in Texas and it's hot in that car! But we've been married for 39 years (gasp!) , so I should be used to it by now. I'm not :)
Posted by: Paperfreak | 15 July 2009 at 12:40 PM
Hurray!!! With the helpful instructions from most helpful readers I too have a Team June button on my page.
Posted by: LisaPie | 15 July 2009 at 12:56 PM
Well, after reading that Marvin is afraid of ants and that he hogs the bathroom, I might have to say that Marvin Gardensalad is a girl.
And the fact that he says he's going to bed but then does 153 things around the house before he gets there...I might even have say Marvin Gardensalad is a mother.
The only things that are saving his reputation are his giant, Christmas-light balls.
Posted by: Sugar Mommy | 15 July 2009 at 01:41 PM
p.s. Another great the-ants-are-going-to-kill-you movie is The African Queen with Humphrey Bogart and Katharine Hepburn.
A great classic!
Don't let Marvin watch it, lest he get his panties in a wad.
Posted by: Sugar Mommy | 15 July 2009 at 01:44 PM
Dear I Birthed Sugar,
Marvin wears thongs.
Posted by: June | 15 July 2009 at 01:45 PM
I knew it!
Posted by: April | 15 July 2009 at 02:02 PM
Thanks ever so Gladys! I'll be gin cursing in 3...2...1...
Wait! You speak Farsi? Cool...
Posted by: The Furry Godmother | 15 July 2009 at 02:18 PM
How obnoxious would I be if I ran these through my ad builder program so that they just faded from one to another all day long? I might have to leave Marvin out though. Putterers make me nervous. Sorry Marvin.
Posted by: Rachel | 15 July 2009 at 02:28 PM