Do you know what I wanted to do today when I was deciding what to post about? (And you'll be stunned to hear I decide what to post about as I walk from the bedroom to the computer room after waking up. I know that is shocking, seeing as how tight and organized my posts are.)
I wanted to just write all the words to I Love the Nightlife, I've Got to Boogie. And then just be done, with no explanation. I was getting such a kick out of myself. People would think I've finally flipped my wig.
Anyway, I decided not to just write the lyrics to I Love the Nightlife because I had to tell you about my windfall. Remember when I was debating about taking this job a year and a half ago, and I listed all the good things about taking it, including profit sharing? Guess who forgot all about profit sharing!
I didn't think I'd be eligible until next year, but it's THIS year! It's this whole convoluted system, where you get points for how much money you make, plus points for years of service, and then the amount per point varies depending on how the company's doing.
Yesterday they announced how much per point we're getting, and according to my math I am either getting $1417.84 or $3,994,003.02.
My boss, who is similarly an English major, said, "Yeah, I just wait till the check comes and see how much it is." I mean really. It's so complex! Why does it have to be so difficult? Do you like how I'm complaining about getting money I wasn't expecting?
I am putting most of it away because I am obsessed with having a bigger deck. DECK. I said DECK.
But some of it? I am getting that forehead wrinkle filled. I cannot stand that thing. I've had Botox before but to tell you the truth it never did much except freeze up my face. The WRINKLE was still there. I've been trying to find doctors in my area who are members of the American Plastic Surgery whatever. I can't remember the official name, but you look for a little circle logo on their website. Looks like a tiny onion ring. That's how you know they're good.
I lived in LA a long time, honey. I know from plastic surgeons. And I know this isn't SURGERY. It's an inJECtion. But you can't be too careful. Or filled. Is what I say.
You know what else I say? Ohhhh, I love the nightlife. I've got to boogay. On the disco 'rounnnnd...