Mince Words with June: The Glass Castle

First of all, half the power in our house is gone. I do not know why. Marvin is rigging up the microwave to plug in in here so I can eat my White Castle. Because he's helpful that way.

So anyway if I disappear it means the power in the rest of the house has suddenly died, too.

But getting to this month's book, how bad did you want to smack these parents in the head?

This book reminded me of the Little House books, in that they'd just start to get a home together, just get a little ahead financially, and BAM, something would go wrong. Stuff like that makes me really nervous. In the Little House books there was always a drought or crows eat the crops or whatever, but in this book that stupid stupid dad would get drunk again. Oh, he burned me up.

And when he stole the money! Oh! I just KNEW he would. I was over him way before the author was.

And that MOM! How self-centered was she? And immature? She had a teaching job and couldn't get out of bed! The whole thing made me tense.

What killed me was they were really smart people, the parents. They were just so flawed.

And yet? Most of the kids turned out okay. What do you make of that? I mean, we don't know if they're OKAY okay. They may be really emotionally screwed up. But they turned out to be successful, responsible adults.

How do you explain that? And what was your favorite part of the book? What part depressed you the most? Was there anyone who didn't like it? Because I was absolutely riveted to the whole thing.

Holy crap, White Castle hamburgers are delish.

Comments

[June. Alone. Naked and ashamed.]

'K, I'm here. Where's everybody else?

[Jenn]

I just found your blog tonight after linking from "Just Nesting"

I LOVED this book - I read it just about a year ago, and was drawn to it because I too had an "unorthodox" childhood and feel like I've grown into a "normal" responsible adult, but this book made my childhood look like a walk thorough Disneyland. I gulped the whole book down in about two nights and am wishing she'd write another.

I didn't find it depressing- it is heavy, for sure, and like you, I found myself so angry at how selfish her parents were, but mostly I just felt proud for her to have risen above it all so well. I'll be looking forward to reading the rest of the comments! Take care!

[June]

Jenn, she has written another book. I think it's about her grandparents or something. Does anyone know more?

[Sandra]

Sorry, not white castle hamburgers here, don't like them.
One thing that also puzzled me is how smart the parents were, just like you wrote. I can understand people being different from average people, wanting to teach their kids different things and not conforming to society. What I could not understand was how careless they were with the kids. I have a three year old little boy and could not imagine letting him go hungry, living in trash or any of the other horrible things these kids had to endure. There is an instinct to protect your children and I don't get how they could just seemingly not care. But like you I am amazed how despite all the odds being against them, the childred turned out seemingly okay, at least measured on success etc. I am sure emotionally they have a lot of issues, but from reading just the part about how the kids grew up, you would expect them to all be violent, drug addicted or something along those lines. Wait a minute, that is what happened to one of the kids, the youngest one, right?
Anyway, I liked the book a lot, but sometimes it was hard to read and frustrating too.

[pendy]

My take on it might be a bit skewed as I've listened to several interviews with the author. Anyway, I can't imagine how she turned out so normal with the parenting she had. The parents treated the children as 'oh, where did you come from' and I was apalled about the younger sister just moving in with that other family. She finally convinced her mother to move in with her and stop living on the streets, but to have to talk you mother out of being homeless is unthinkable, really. Here's a recent Q&A with JW about her new book: http://www.rd.com/your-america-inspiring-people-and-stories/plain-speaking-qa-with-author-jeannette-walls/article164234.html

[June]

I think not every parent has that instinct you're talking about, Sandra. Some people have kids and really never give them much thought.

[Beth]

I absolutely could not put this book down. Why couldn't they just stay in the desert. Living on that mountain was so bleak. All of them crapping in the same bucket.

[June]

Yeah! I was all for them staying at that house in Arizona. The bikes getting stolen was what depressed me. I just KNEW they couldn't have nothin' nice, as my grandmother would say.

[Sandra]

Yes, that is true, but with them they seemed so ademate (probably spelled wrong, sorry) about teaching them what was important to them, planning glass castles for them, but then they would just flake out. I just did not get them. Alcohol played a big role in that with the dad, but the mother?? I wanted to strangle her so many times.

[Linda in CO]

I really enjoyed it, but had a tough time with her memories from when she was three, how detailed they were. Maybe it's just me, but I have maybe five memories total of my early years, the earliest was when I was around 5, and even then it was just a snapshot of an experience. I don't THINK I'm repressing a whole horrible life.
Her parents drove me nuts, her dad for being such a drunk loser, and her mom for being such an enabler. Of course, I had a drunk loser for a dad and an enabler mom too, but my dad could at least keep a job. Mostly I hated her mom for making her feel like a loser because she didn't see their whole life as an adventure. I think there are much bigger adventures to be had that would also include indoor plumbing.
I just hurt for her in the West Virginia life - she made the earlier years almost sound like an adventure, but the time in WV was nothing but pain. I loved how she and her sibs got out of there.
This was a great choice, I would never have read it without this impetus.

[Jenn]

My dad was homeless for about 10 years, and truly, he didn't want to be talked out of it. I know that sounds insane (and it was insane) but we're very "normal" seeming people- he was raised in a regular family, I'm a normal 30-year old who works for a big-4 accounting firm, so I think one of the things I really took away from the book was how you could/can surpass incredibly, wildly insane things, and also how educated, seemingly normal people sometimes just crack and can't pull it together with that parenting instinct.

I think the part where my heart sunk most was when the parents just let the Arizona house fall through their hands like sand- I agree with you June!

[Philosophical June]

I think that mom was as addicted to the dad as the dad was addicted to alcohol. And addicts can't really concentrate on what's right for their kids.

[Sandra]

I kept looking at the wedding picture that was on the first pages of the book and just could not picture those two as being the same whackadoodles in the book.

[Definitely Wopner June]

I have an insane memory, including people leaning over my crib and stuff like that, so I didn't take issue with her memories. Some of us are Rain Man like that.

[Beth]

After the grandmother died and they moved into the really large home in Phoenix, it drove me crazy that the house ended up being infested with cockroaches and termites. And the mom was opposed to roach spray.

[Cheap June]

Ooo! I didn't have photos! You must have had a hardcover. Also, "wackadoos" is a good word.

[Linda in CO]

I read it a few weeks ago and had to return it to the library, so have forgotten some details. Can someone remind me what happened to the land in Texas? Did anyone ever get anything out of it, or is the mom still holding on to it?

[Itchy June]

My mother is really really frugal, and the bug thing reminded me of a time we had fleas in this old house we lived in, and my mother said fleas were less bad for us than insecticides. I do not share that frugality.

[Sandra]

The falling apart house with the rain coming in drove me insane. How can you sleep under a rubber boat? And all that trash? It made my skin crawl to read those parts.

[Sandra]

No, did not have the hardcover, I don't have a scanner, otherwise I would try to post the picture. Maybe I can google it. Off to google.

[Beth]

I kept staring at that wedding photo too!

[KW in Atlanta]

I did not finish the book, dammit. Not because I lost interest or anything, but I just got it on Tues. or Weds. and even though I have been reading like a fiend, I am just over half way. I tried to finish, I really tried. I will still offer my two cents.

Good God, I am with June on wanting to smack the crap out of the father. When he ruined Christmas by burning the tree and all the gifts I wanted to kill him. Let's face it there were umpteen times I was ready to throttle that man, and like I said I'm only half way through the book. I don't know if it ever is revealed in the book, but he must have been sexually abused by his mother.

The mother is just as rotten. She thought chewing gum was a disgusting, low class habit. But digging through trash for food, and making your kids wear filthy clothes was okay. Can you believe that?

What this book proves to me is that children are resilient. Well most are anyway. I have often wondered if some children are just tougher, or have more of a survival instinct than others.

Some adults are products of some terrible abuse as children. Some of them go through life mentally tortured, or worse, become violent/sexual criminals/deviants. On the other hand there are other adults who some how plow through life in a seemingly normal fashion. They acknowledge the past, own it, and move on without blame.

I have personally known both types of individuals. Noone who became a criminal, but one who was abused and can't have a normal relationship and blames everyone for everything that happens to him. He is what I call a lost soul.

The other guy was someone I knew very well.
He had such a dysphunctional family. Both his parents were the biggest losers. They were cruel beyond words. But he became the only child to graduate from college. He got married. He never blamed his parents.
He did have a strong faith, and he believes that is what gave him his strength.

I honestly don't know how these kids got through the repeated let downs. The dangerous situations. The roller coaster ride that their life was.

I really like this book. But it is disturbing. Sorry for the long review. Think how long is tould have been if I had finished it!

Also, as I write this my family is shooting dirty/quizical looks at me because I am suppose to be eating my dinner that my sweet husband grilled.

[June]

I think they never did sell the land. I think mom still has it. Also, I like how the author couldn't jibe with living on Park Avenue. I don't blame her. That's quite a difference.

[Beth]

Where is Sleeping Beauty?

[June]

I noticed her conspicuous absence, but she lives a fabulous life and is no doubt somewhere screamingly glamorous.

She is always emailing me with stuff like, "I'm in Cairo. How's Tallulah?" She is kind of like Endora on Bewitched.