Okay, thanks, Marvin.
In case you are just tuning in, yesterday I let Marvin come up with our weekly Pieces of Wisdom question, and he asked, "What was your worst Valentine's Day, ever?" because he has a cheery personality like that.
And you answered. There was betrayal, rejection, death, lack of carnation delivery in high school, snow storms. Good gravy.
The one that somehow affected me the most was poor Faithful Reader Emily, whose then-boyfriend set up this whole romantic evening, and she was certain he was gonna propose, and sure enough he came up with a small box, and in it?
A clock.
A CLOCK!
Where do you even GET teeny clocks that come in a ring box, and what boy in his right mind would say, "Hey! I'll bet she'd love a CLOCK that looks like it might be a ring on Valentine's Day!"
Poor Emily. She eventually did get proposed to by the guy. If I were her I'd have gone for a Flavor-Flav-themed wedding, but she did not mention that she did so.
Oh, but someone else did mention heartbreak and an Alice in Wonderland wedding.
I'm telling you, it's all too sad. Go read yesterday's comments if you want to see. I can't even get my dry erase board for this.
Plus also I have news for you.
Yesterday I hauled myself out a long damn-ass way to an interview for a big company. You have heard of this company. It's big. And the job is temporary but they told me the majority of temporary hires end up getting hired because the company is growing.
Anyway, they called to offer me the position before the day was even done. I said let me think about it, because did I mention it's a long damn-ass way away?
So I told someone at my old company where I just got laid off and he said HANG ON! They may want you back here at this place! Don't call the new company till I have called you tomorrow!
So I did what I always do in times of stress. I got ill. Oh, I had a migraine. Throb throb throb, is what my head did, all night. Then finally today my old place called and they still can't offer my job back yet, so I took the temporary job that may lead to permanent.
If it works out, Marvin and I talked about maybe eventually moving closer, so we'd both have a commute, but of course that's if I even end up really working there. For now it's a two-month assignment.
AND THERE ARE GEESE THERE! They were touring me around and I saw a big lake and I could not help but ask. "There be geetzes?"
Okay, thank all that is holy I didn't ask it like that, but still. Do you think I should negotiate to be able to work outside when the babies are born?
I go in Friday for ANOTHER DRUG TEST. Can't people just look at me and know I don't take drugs? Could I look straighter? Can't they just do this based on looks? Anyway, if I pass that (I mean, maybe they're testing for addiction to Moon Pies and/or chalupas. If so, fail.) I start Feb. 28.
I am upcited, because it's copy editing AND copy writing. It's like a step up. A temporary step up. With geetzes. Should I wear something goose-related every day, do you think? Like goose earrings or a suit with a goose pin or a lovely mock turtleneck with geese pictures on it? That'll surely convince them to hire me forthwith. Maybe I could just wear a goose butt, like those Wisconsin people and their cheese butts.
There is some sports team and the fans wear cheese hats but they also have cheese butts to sit on when the bleachers are cold. Which is always because it's Wisconsin. Yes, Hulk, I kind of knew a sports thing, but only because my father lived there and told me.
The first person who makes me a goose butt for my new job gets their choice of a bag of gladiators
or an inflatable turkey.
How much do you dare me to wear a goose butt to my new job, and not only wear it but wiggle around and ruffle before I sit down every single time?
Why I always gotta be the weird coworker?
Yours,
Ryan Gosling
