Okay, so I just noticed I had $97 in checking. It's okay, though, because of the $9 I have in savings.
Apparently Unemployment has not been paying me, and for those of you not on Unemployment, and God love ya, here is what they do. They do not TELL you there is an issue, they simply stop paying you. They did this to me before and I went on my merry way until I panicked about my lack of funds.
At any rate, I get my Unemployment automatic deposit on Mondays, and thank all that is holy and merciful I checked it today. I have no idea what I was doing last week that I didn't check; I WAS thinking my checking account looked a little light in its loafers, but I just attributed it to all that white paint I've been buying.
I got ahold of them and straightened the issue out and will have cash tomorrow so it will be fine, and fortunately I have two checks in my purse from this very blog and THANK GOD FOR THIS BLOG or I would starve to death.
Did I mention I would like it very much if that company hired me? Did I mention money things make me very sweaty and shaky? Did I mention the minute I get any cash I am getting Botox in my forehead, and I realize what I should be doing is putting the maximum amount in my four-oh-wonk or whatever because of my six months of unemployment, but shut up. I have gotten worry lines that need addressing.
In other news, I sat here last night and watched that William & Kate movie on Lifetime like it was good. Did you? The actor who played William was kind of hot.
Also too, I did work for the day yesterday, and that was kind of fun. A lot of people who got laid off along with me at my last job ended up working at this place, so there were lots of "JUNE!"s and screams and hugs and so forth. It was fun to see everyone. It was kind of like they just took all the characters and put them in a different building.
At one point, I retired to the restroom, to shake the dew off the lily, as it were, which is something Kate Middleton probably says a lot. There was just one other woman in there, a young hipster type with dark horn rim glasses. We said hi and I went into a stall.
When she left? Hipster Girl TURNED OFF THE LIGHT.
There were no windows in this bathroom, and to tell you I was plunged into darkness is not even half the story. The Chilean miners had more light. Do you remember that movie with Audrey Hepburn, where she was blind and she was groping around her apartment, and the bad guy was right next to her? That was me trying to find the light again in that foreign bathroom.
I was so gonna kick that hipster's ass.
Other than that, it was good to be back in, you know, public and the dogs were exHAUSted from being at day care nine hours, which is always a plus. I got to watch Lifetime in peace.
Oh, and it's a shame my "talk amongst yourselves" idea yesterday didn't pan out. I don't even know how many comments you left. I think it was ninety frillion. I stole that number from Miss Doxie and told her I was going to. Frillion. It's being a number. It's also how much I have in checking. A frillion dollars.
I am off to edge my lawn, because I know how to show myself a good time. Oh! And we were gonna have a book club again before all hell broke loose in my life. The Chief suggested a book and it had something like Lulu in the title. Let's read that; it sounded good. So everyone go out and get a book that has Lulu in the title.
Chief, please tell us the name of the dang book. Once she does, I will announce it for real and also the date we meet to discuss. And you all better REALLY READ THE BOOK for all the fussing you've been doing about book club.
June has spoken.
P.S. The Chief has just said the book is All About Lulu by Jonathan Evison. Let's say we will meet Sunday, May 22 to discuss. Seven p.m. my time. June has spoken again. I wish to end all my blog posts with "June has spoken."