If I was gonna pick a day to get a migraine, did I have to pick the longest day of the year? My pain went an extra, extra, extra long time.
What is that a commercial for? Is it Extra gum? Which by the way is a stupid name. Extra. Do they give you an additional piece in the pack? No. Then stop calling it that. Do you know people who are always chewing that bright green Extra gum? I did, in college. They were always chawing on that stuff like there was some weird science experiment going on in their mouths.
But I digress. Yesterdday at the end of the workday, I was in a brainstorming session, and man did my brain ever begin to storm. I was having fun, too, because we were thinking up clever phrases. Although I should tell you that if I ever have to think of clever things on the spot I never ever can. Kind of like when people introduce me, "This is my friend June. She's really funny!" and then I'm the guy who write the Bazooka comics all night--the least-funny person on Earth. Still I was enjoying my brainstorming meeting until I felt that first migraine twinge.
My head was getting worse and worse, but it was nearing 5:00 and I thought surely we'll end the meeting so people can go home. Often I call myself Shirley. But no! We kept going! Just like Extra gum!
At 10 after we all finally got up, and I tried to not mince to my desk cradling my head as I wanted to. Just as I was at my desk, my boss's boss said, "Oh, June. Before you go, can you take a look at the whooo-de-whooo and make sure it's okay?"
Crap.
"Sure!" I smiled, trying not to vomit on my shoes. Which by the way, my Pal from MA sent me NEW PINK SHOES for my birthday and I just got them yesterday and naturally I wore them right away. So barfing on them would have been disappointing.
And yes, foot fetish people. I will take a photo.
Anyway. By the time I got home I was suffering succotash. I went to bed, and Edsel and Tallulah decided that was an EXCELLENT time to begin wrestling ON TOP OF ME, so I had to banish them. This meant the entire time I was in the bed, Edsel was outside my door. "Hmmmmmmm! Hmmmmmmmmmm! WWWoahhhhhhh. Hmmmmmm." Edsel is obsessed with me. He needs counseling.
I am better today, and I see that it rained, so my migraine is explained. Usually I can figure out why I got one--stupid sleep pattern, not eating, accidentally ingesting MSG. But rain will do it too. Something about barometric pressure.
I did wonder if my new diet had anything to do with it, but I am not starving myself. I have been paying $17 a month for Weight Watchers online and doing nothing with it since January, which is annoying and wasteful and no wonder God hates me and gives me migraines. So since Sunday I have been Weight Watchering and I weigh less already. Can you tell? Does my font look thinner?
I must go, because Roger is crying pitifully and so is Edsel. I have to close Roger up in the bedroom so I can feed Anderson his fattening canned food, and oh! It makes him mad. Edsel is upset because the computer room door is shut. "Hmmmmmmmm! HMMMMMMM! ARF! HMMMMMMMMM. Mew! Mew! MAAAAAAAAEEEEWWWW!" It's copacetic here, is what it is.
Oh! I almost forgot.
Ruby's lily bloomed! For those of you just tuning in, Ruby was my cat, and she died in 2009 and I planted a lily where she's buried. And yes, I DO have two dead cats in my yard. I look forward to the next people who live here discovering all the cat bodies. They'll think I was some kind of cat killer.
In fact, these two are not sleeping. I have gassed them. Wa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaa! Death to all kitties!
Okay, my migraine has made me flip my lid. Goodbye.
