What I enjoy about myself is my steely resolve and firm self-discipline. Have you met that? Really? Where is it?
Because I wasn't gonna TELL you about Virgin Merry Bailey Ingalls until she got here, which will not be till the frickin' THIRTIETH, and who lasted, oh, three hours before she spilled the beans on Pie on the Face, the Facebook fan page for this blog? Actually, Tallulah spilled the beans, so it wasn't my fault. Damn gossipy dog.
And every time I mention Pie of the Face, I feel the need to reiterate that I did not invent a fan page for my own damn blog. I am not even a member. Tallulah is. She just reads this blog to see her own picture.
you luk as hot as lu, you need to see self offen.
Let's not even TALK about how filthy that floor is. Who has to clean everything before her mother and stepfather get here this weekend? Who has to tear around like a dervish, getting actual food to put in the house because PopTarts are not good enough for my mother for Christmas dinner (humph! They were GOOD ENOUGH for Mary and Joseph. Read the BIBLE, mom), get my cousin's present in the mail because I finally don't have negative $660 in the bank, wrap gifts because I can finally buy wrapping paper. Please see ref. to negative $660 in bank.
And then I have to pop over the the shelter to visit Virgin Merry Bailey Ingalls. Who you probably wish I'd get to already. Oh, but before I do...
Aunt Peg, my next-door neighbor, brought toys over for the dogs yesterday, for Christmas. They each got their own toy then had to fight over them.
Peg and I had a good talk about Roger, as he used to crawl under my fence and into her yard, and hang on her deck. She would pet him and chat with him and she, too, thoroughly enjoyed his da-bomb self. It's always nice to talk to someone who loved someone you loved.
Okay, so anyway. At work yesterday, they let us go at 3:30 so we could commence celebrating Christmas and so forth. My coworker TinaDoris said, "Why don't we mosey on down to the shelter, you and me?" TinaDoris is about 25 and would say "mosey" as often as I say "Give me a big plate of cilantro" but you get my gist. "We can just look. We can just SEE what's down there," she said.
This is akin to asking Courtney Love to attend Attentionfest. Like in a million years I would say no to this offer. So we drive through the busiest streets imaginable, says the person who lived in LA for over 10 years, and get to the I'm glad to say packed shelter. I guess people wanted pets for Christmas.
We see this teensy gray kitten. You know I like me a gray cat.
Because I've been to the shelter 900 million times, I know the rules, so I reach in and get her out. She is one of those kittens who purrs immediately. And she crawled up in my neck and put her head in my hair and fell asleep.
Hello.
I noticed her eyes were skrinchy. She had a brother in the cage, a fluffy black-and-white thing whose eyes were wide open. In fact, he looked like nothing but trouble. "HI! Hi hi hi hi hi hi! HI! What doing!?? You gots my sister!??? We going somewheres? I gots big eyes. Hi!" So I knew there wasn't a cold or infection with the litter.
"What's up with this kitty's eyes?" I asked the volunteer.
"Oh, that one's special needs. She has underdeveloped eyes. She'll be able to see a bit, but she'll need to stay an indoor cat." (ahem) "Other than that she'll be able to get around pretty well."
The kitten had been purring in my hair for a while at this point. I had been stroking her white feets. "Will everyone want her? I mean, will everyone say, Ohhhhh. Special needs kitty. I want her!"
The volunteer blinked at me several times. "No, ma'am. No one will want her."
".....How do we start the paperwork?" I heard myself say. I mean, come on. What chance did I have?
The adoption process is probably only slightly less difficult than adopting a human. It took an hour. I had to show ID, promise I was not a devil worshipper (totally fooled them on THAT one), assure them I would not leave this kitty in the back yard on a chain (?), and so forth. In the meantime, her big-eyed brother was behind me in line, also getting adopted.
"HI! STILL HAS BIG EYES! WE GOTS CHRISTMAS TREE!??? CAUSE TOTLEE GOING UP DAT THING WHEN WE GETS HOME!"
I'm telling you. I have had cats my whole life, and that thing was adorable and 100% dick.
My kitty slept on me and chewed my necklace once she found it. While we were in that impermedipal line,
I came up with her brilliant name. Virgin Merry Bailey Ingalls. It's Christmassy, it acknowledges her, you know, not-so-sightyness, it's ludicrous, it's perfect. PERFECT! The shelter was calling her SugarPlum. Puleeze. We are just gonna call her Merry.
So, they can't spay her till the freaking 29th, and she can't leave till the 30th, and they are bugging me, is what they're doing.
i not so eye-ee. but i loved.
I wish Roger could have met her.
