Here is the photo I meant to put in. I could see, like, literally the size of a thumbnail when they showed me photos to plunk, and all I could see was blue and white.
Anyway. Last night Iris and I watched a rerun (and I will not show the opening song of What's Happening again, and for that I am sorry) of The Real Housewives, so we could catch up on the season finale. Who sobbed like an idiot during Pandora's wedding, as though she has known Pandora all her life and has been just waiting for this day? Geez, Iris. You're a cat. Get some dignity.
The reason I couldn't watch my regularly scheduled Real Housewives, or houzewives, as Kyle pronounces it when they show next week's episode ("Coming up, on the Real Houzewives...") (which is better than Vickie, who says, "Prevusly on the Real Housewives." Do I ever get resentful that they have millions of dollars and I don't?) is because I was bowling. You never see the real houzewives bowling.
And by the way, the first "I never watch the real housewives of anywhere" comment gets a piece of teensy Iris poo mailed directly to their door.
Could someone PLEASE make me a list of all the things I'm supposed to send to everyone? I know I am supposed to send a yodeling pickle to Funny in My Mind, for some reason. And Joann said I promised her an inflatable swan or something. Who else?
Anyway, yes. I was bowling. We had a fun night at work, because now we have a fun committee at work, which I volunteered to be on but they wouldn't let me be on it. I resent that. What did they think I was gonna DO?
Botox night at June's work! Hey everyone! It's partner swap night! Be here with your keys at 10 p.m.! (For the record, I'm the EDITOR of the company NEWSLETTER, so pfft! to the fun committee. Pfft! Not resentful and bitter. No. NO!)
New girl came, and guess what she had? GUESS WHAT SHE HAD?????
Has she been put on this earth to torture me with good things? I have been coveting the Hello Kitty bowling ball since 2005, when Marvin and I lived right near a bowling alley in LA. And she just SHOWS UP with it.
Anyway. I just want you to know I bowled 105!!! For me, that is excellent. I emailed this photo to my father, who asked, "Now, was that all three games added up?"
Oh evvvveryone's a comedian. That was the best score I got, though. I got tired of lugging those seven pounds after while. Working out is hard.
While we're on the subject of highfalutin' things like bowling, let's not forget my finances. I paid off the credit card with the highest balance on it, so thanks for your advice yesterday. It currently doesn't have interest, but in a few months it will have terrible interest unless I pay part of it. It's the kind of credit card that is interest-free, per purchase, for 12 months. It's the vet credit card.
do it cover cost of edzul senior piktur?
Who has to stop playing with her new app? Also, I had a DREAM about Pinterest last night. I am pathetic.
pintrist far outs, mom.
Seriously. I need to get out more. But even if I get out I can bring my phone and continue playing with this app.
dis piktur not disterbeeng at all, mom. where iris milareea pill?
Are we absolutely certain I should not have taken that windfall and used it for therapy? Or a few weeks at an asylum? Do they say "asylum" anymore or is a nicer euphemism used? "Place for people who put their pets' heads on old pictures." Is there a politically correct term for that?
Okay. Going. And by the way, next time I get married I want every single thing Pandora had at her wedding, down to the last pink sparkle. Someone show my mother what Lisa had on, because my hippie mom is gonna have to sport that. It involves a tiara, mom. Just to warn you. Oh, and the wedding cost a million dollars. You're paying for my next wedding, too, right?
Okay, really going. Before hippie mom pops a cap in my ass.