Hey, 16%!

We had our usual routine this morning, where the dogs immediately burst outside like the house is on fire, and then when they hear me feeding the cats, through the wood and the brick and the five rooms from the back yard and the insulation, they want right back in. Then after they eat, the house is apparently aflame again.

So they were on their second trip out while I checked email--and can I just say, if you have emailed me and I have not answered? I am sorry. I am getting several hundred emails a day and I was trying to be all good and answer them (I mean, they're not all related to this blog, my email. I just mean in general) (although most are from this blog, actually. I KNOW! Who's hoity-toity all of a sudden?), but sometimes I just cannot. I know I sound like a tool.

Anyway, my point is, I was in here doing stuff when, "WOOF." It was Tallulah. It's always Tallulah. Edsel would run around like a demon in that yard for six hours, except Talu gets bored. And God forbid he let her out of his sight.

"WOOF!"

"I HEAR you!" I said, while I put dishes away and threw in some laundry.

"WOOF!"

Oh for the love of all that is holy. Except for that one NOTABLE time, I ALWAYS let her in, so do we need more than one bark? I mean, okay, if an HOUR or something has gone by, freaking remind me. But this every-19-seconds thing is obnoxious.

"WOOF!"

I go to the door and JUST when I get there, the Schnauzer and Lab behind us got let out.

"Smell Lu!" And off she went to go play with them. Oh, I was irritated.

(Once I let her out at lunchtime and went to work. I forgot about her. And she was in the back yard, in the 65-degree weather, for four hours. You'd have thought I'd thrown acid on her family. I got the silent treatment for a week.)

In other news, guess what.

Dude, I effing love Latisse. I am unsure if I have touched on this topic enough.

Anyway. Hello, the 16% who read me on Saturday! What are y'all doing with your bad selves today? I am recovering from my big night out of partayying till 1:00. Woo! Twenty years ago, 1:00 would've been an early night. Sad.

Right after work, the new girl, Poochie, came over. She lives kind of outside town and has hens and goats and cats and dogs and yes, she does have EVERYTHING I WANT. Except she doesn't have a teacup pig, which I still desperately want. At any rate, like me, she was interested in meeting my pets, because it's fun to leave your 50 animals and meet new ones. I don't KNOW why. It just is.

Everyone liked her, including "WOOF!" over here. And do you know Lily just came out of her room and greeted Poochie? So far, Lily pretty much hangs out in the spare room. Sleeping on top of Iris' kitten bed and smooshing it, day afer day. But last night she was all, heyyy! I think Poochie has a way with the pets.

I'm pretty sure this is the first family shot I managed to get, and man, do I ever have bookend pets now.

So anyway, Poochie stayed a couple hours and we talked and played with the animals and I offered her no food, as I had a can of tuna and a box of flax, and yes I do understand I suck. I did have wine for her, which Lily drank.

After Poochie left I put on my iTunes, which do not contain a bunch of hits from the last time I went out, during the Clinton administration, or anything, and got all ready. Poochie told me to wear something swingy, and what I discovered is I own nothing swingy. Why? Why is that? So I wore black and pink sparkly jewelry. Because I am annoying.

Here is me guiding my coworker, The Spanish Editor, to my home. She had on lots of sparkly brown, which at least wasn't as making-June-look-boring as sparkly turquoise.

We get downtown to this club, and about 15 of her friends are set to meet us there. There's a huge line outside, and everyone in said line was about seven years old. "I donnn understannn!" she said. She is from Colombia. Do you enjoy my accent? If you were here, I'd sound Finnish. All my accents sound Finnish. "When we come here udder time it fill with people our age. Thirty, forty, not 15 like tonight!"

"Maybe they have different music on different nights," I offered.

"Jesss, that could be." At this point I'm making her sound like Speedy Gonzales. "But ebery udder time, it Saturday night, like tonight."

We both stood there in the street for a second, looking at each other in horror. "OH MY GOD! Eeets Friday night! OH MY GOD!" We giggled among the youngsters. Then we talked about how be BOTH fasted on Thursday this week, thinking they were having these insurance (INsurance) blood tests, but it turns out there was a MEETING about the INsurance and the test is Monday. I was so glad somebody else was all starving and peaked all morning and it wasn't just me.

So we ended up going to this bar right near my house. Dudes. It's RIGHT NEAR MY HOUSE, and it has multiple levels, and dancing, and a band, and outdoor seating with couches and WHO KNEW? I could walk there. Who needs to get out more?

After, she came over and I read her tarot cards, because that's apparently my trademark for getting babes back to my place.

The Spanish Editor is an interesting person. She used to be a journalist, and has been all over the world. She's one of those people who, if she has extra money, will spend it on having fun. I demonstrated for her my Botoxed forehead. Enough said.

All this socializing has exhausted the Eds. I like how a puff of fur has fallen off of him. Honestly, things don't look this filthy here till the camera flashes on them. Look at that bookshelf! Guess I'll, you know, dust today.

I have a date tonight, but in the 39495589020 emails I have exchanged with said...date, we talked about my blog and I said I didn't want him to read it, and he said (a) it feels like my private business and he won't intrude on it and (2) he doesn't want to read about how much I detest him, should I do so. I believe his exact quote was he was worried he'd see, "I've been spending time with this total rube. GOD." Which would be impossible for him to read because have you ever heard me say, "rube"?

So I will not say much about my date. Going on a date. The end. (Ohmygod he is really cool. Okay. Done.)

When I started this thing five years ago, I had no idea this dilemma would come up. I didn't ever think I'd be divorced and dating again and having to worry about my blog. I mean, obviously. How could I know all that? But it is kind of a thing, because it takes up a lot of my day, at this point, and I'll be all, "One of my commentors said..." like that's just a thing people say. But how scary to be someone walking IN to all that.

I should get up now but Iris is asleep on my arm. I will post and you 16% better say amusing things, because it looks like I'm stuck for a whole purry catnap.

Comments

[Jill Munroe...BAH!]

Amusing things.

[The Furry Godmother, Heeeee!]

Fucking funny things.

[Kathy F., who is sick with a nasty cold - first one in over a year. :(]

Looks like Edsel outgrew his bed? I don't think I've ever seen a pic of him asleep before - it's always pics of him 6) destroying things and f) looking at you with those googly eyes of love. He's a cutie!

[June.]

please note, am still here, typing w/one hand cause iris asleep on other. also furry and jill suck.

[original joann who apparently is not using complete sentences today]

Can't stay. Going to soccer. Kid's, not mine.

Love your lashes. Be back later.

[Kristi]

I think you saying "One of my commenters said . . . . " is WAY easier that when I say "So I follow this really funny blog. And one of the commenters said. . . .no SHE didn't say it! One of her COMMENTeRS did. Wait. Did you seriously just ask me what a commenter is? You know! Like someone who comments on a blog? What do you mean you never read the comments? That's where some of the best stuff happens!" And yes. This happens almost every day. I think I'm going to just start saying "My friend who lives in NC? Well HER friend who lives in MA says that . . . . ". I think it'll be easier.

Have FUN on your date tonight! I'm glad you're not going tomorrow night because then you'd be fasting for your Monday test during your Sunday date and that would not be cool.

[The Furry Godmother, Heeeee!]

Yes, but we are HILARIOUS!

[June Gardens]

I would totally look like eating-disorder date. And then hed be all, why so chubby, then? Is this her when she starves? Cause thats scary. Also too, sometimes I just say, A friend said... without doing the whole blog/comment thing. But sometimes it is necessary to state the locale of said comment. Good gravy.

[Megsie]

I just told someone last night about Letha's Cinco de Boinko comment! I think that person thinks I am crazy. Also, I am never amusing here...too much pressure. Is your hand asleep yet?

[The Zadge also got the 'tox yesterday.]

AWWWWWWWWWWW!!! The BEST photo of my man ever!

And you seem to get a lot better dates off of Match.com than I did. The men in North Carolina must be better than the ones in Colorado.

[ruth]

What Kristi said. Also, very happy to see dog fur on the floor. I have that too. Oh, and dust in the bookshelves. I have much of that. So glad you are real.

[SC Susan]

Latisse!!

[HB - no time to be clever, I must get ready for the GAME!]

I agree w/ Kristi - it is hard to explain the "there is this blogger I follow who is really fucking funny"thing. But to my friends who don't read or understand blogs it seems very exotic. Off to watch UCONN basketball in person - its gonna be a great day!

[Letha, Megsie quoted me so I am famous]

Smell Lu. Hee. Labender and banilla.

New date's blog name should be Ruben. Have fun!

[Suzanne in NJ]

The first thing that popped into my head when seeing the picture of your pets was Burl Ives singing "Silver and Gold". Very cute! I have to tell you that Colombia the country has no "u"- I've been there, I liked it, and they tell me it's one of their pet peeves. I've never looked up why it's spelled with an "o" since presumably it is named after Christopher Columbus...

[Megsie]

So Famous Letha!

[Jeanie]

Sounds like a fun night you had, June. I'll just say that by 1:00 I am almost ready to get up for the day. How sad is that?

Loving your Latisse. And also the Eds. The others, too, of course. And it appears that the botox is starting to work, no?

Can't wait to hear about your date.

[Lisa]

Your lashes are reaching new heights! Or lengths, if you will.

You are such a good friend maker. I stink at making friends. I'm always worried they will turn out to be psycho and then I have to figure out how to get rid of them. Does that ever happen to anyone but me? Why do I attract the escapees from the Nervous Hospital?

[Lisa]

And don't bother saying "Birds of a feather". I've heard that before from my lovable spouse.

[Jill Munroe...BAH!]

We are so HILARIOUS, Furry!

[Mary Lou]

Your lashes are shpectacular!
So imagining Spanish Editor is Sophia's twin and can see the two of you surrounded by kids and then light bulbs flashing on-hilarious!
Glad you had a good time partaaying-
Love snoozing Eds and the family foto- Iris and her coat have really grown and she does look like Lily's twin, with the fur fluffage-
Laughing at Kristi's comment as I go through the same thing- from now on I'm just going to say "my friend June"-
Working today but also going to a 1st birthday party for my friend's grandson, wee Willie sweet Willyum-so cute I could eat him up yummy-am totally in love with him can you tell I love babies?!
Have a gggreat date night!

[dlou-not-duffylou]

On my first date with my now husband, as we ordered dinner I said "I don't eat on Friday nights". He fell for it.

[Just Paula. Awww, too many emails. Are your diamond shoes too tight, too?]

I can't comment now, I have to go order Latisse.

I just say, "My friend, June, said ...." It doesn't matter that you're not REALLY my friend because your name isn't REALLY June. So two negatives, etc. Or "and then June's friend said," if it's a commenter.

[Peter, deciphering the inner workings of the male brain for BBP since 2011.]

Jumping in to defend dlou's mate and men everywhere. We really aren't that stupid. But in the early stages of a relationship, we pretend to believe anything a woman says because we want to appear sincere. What we really want is to get laid. Capish?

[Cosmo's Dad.. like the icing on the cake..]

hmm, I talk about "Junie the Pie" and "my Pie friends"... when there are lots of comments "an a-la-mode day". You know, in the style of.

[Anita]

Jesss, Jesss, I thoroughly enjoyed your Spanish accent! I was glad I had a towel nearby to catch the spew of coffee that almost escaped when you referenced Speedy Gonzalez.

Lovely lashes. Is that a shot with or without mascara on? Because now I have to get a picture of my own lashes to see what they really look like.

[Funny in my mind Who would like a llama please]

Are you sure Edsel is ok? Put a mirror under his snout please.
Have fun on your date! Is it a man or a woman?
Not that it matters....

[Heather P]

I'm surprised that you actually got a picture of Edsel sleeping! I figured he just stayed awake and stared at you all time. Bah!

[Cyndi b]

Hope the date goes well!

I'm stuck on the couch holding a sleeping, snoring, snuggly beagle. The dishes will just have to wash themselves.

[DeDe]

Omg the latisse!! I dream of lashes like the ones you are sporting... I am in bed watching Run' House, that Rev is one funny dude. Happy Saturday!

[Linda in CO]

A) I quote June or one of the commenters multiple times daily to my husband. I used to have to preface everything with "you know, that blog I follow" but I have now moved to "June said" like I'm talking about a close personal friend. Which of course June is. Everyone's close personal friend. I haven't mentioned any of the commenters by name yet, but can that be far behind? I have referred to them as "my invisible friends". I'm with Lisa, the older you (I) get, the harder it is to make friends. Unless you're June. It's a gift, June.
II) Your lashes are fabu. When I first saw the picture I thought you would be showing us that you'd had your roots done. Your hair looks fabu too.
Omega) I think every picture I've ever seen of Lu she has that same adoring-June look on her face. I love her devotion.
PS) Have a lovely date with Rube.

[June Gardens]

I got up. But look at all the comments! Is my date with a man or a woman. BAH!

[June Gardens]

Oh, and my diamond shoes. heeeeeee. I cannot help that I am fabulous and poopular, Paula. I mean, llllllook at me.

[June Gardens]

Oh, and I fixed Colombia. Okay shutting up now.

[Cyndi b]

Yeah, so jealous of the lashes! They're gorgeous!

I told my coworkers about the firemen story, they got a kick out of it.

[Amish Annie/Paul just says "a decorating blog" ...no questions asked then...which is kind of true since I found it through The Nester whose blog I love]

Love the family photo. It's funny how Lu is always in the background, above the fray, keeping things sane and orderly. Kind of like a one beagle/pit police department. My old boy beagle Carter was like that too, although mainly he was just a narc on the cats when they were doing something he deemed illegal. Like walking through a room, or not sharing a chicken carcass from the top of the kitchen counters.

[arlene, never alone 'cause I can always visit June and the gang]

June, having more invisible friends than me. Sometimes I think about what would happen if all of June's cyber friends were together in one room...at one time. Then I start laughing.

[Tammi V.V. - Off to a Chinese New Year party in Seattle!]

I thought Edsel was like a shark, he had to keep moving at all times or he'd stop breathing.

I can totally tell that the Botox has kicked in on your forehead! Your worry line is disappearing. Also, your Latisse photos inspired me to send my doc an email yesterday and ask for a prescription. I can't wait to start it!

Lastly, I think the 84% who don't read on Saturdays are just slackers. Maybe you should password protect the weekday posts and only put the password in the Saturday post. :-)

[June Gardens]

I talked with The Fireman, the one I went out with a few times, and he said of COURSE they talked about me after they left, but probably in a good way. He said the part where they fixed my smoke alarm meant they probably liked me, because they so didnt have to do that. I told him how I had on the good bra.

[Anita ( I need to be accurate when judging my own)]

JUNE! The lashes.... With or without mascara?

[: : Garden Girl : : Dusting regularly when you have so many animals is like shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing. Just don't.]

We, the 16%, appreciate you checking in with us on the weekend.

Please don't dust, June. It would make the rest of us look bad.

[June Gardens]

A) With mascara, but at the end of the night. So not a lot left, probably.
B) Zadge, I did not meet him on Match.

[Darla]

I'm part of the 16% crowd I guess cuz I open my laptop lid and demand that Bye Bye Pie be BOLD in my google reader. I nearly had a stroke yesterday when it took a whole half the day for it to go BOLD.

So anyway, I too, have to dust junk. And vacuum animal hair. And organize my husband's closet --- and he hates it when I touch his clothes and junk. But he obviously isn't.

[Mary Ellen from Napa]

Well it's a couple of hours since you posted, so I'm assuming that you aren't still sitting on line waiting for Iris to wake up. But I'm here, one of the 16%!

I've had so many people check out your blog, they think you are funny, but they never check the comments. I don't understand that. BTW, my husband just knows that if I'm looking at the computer and laughing, it's June.

I thought we were looking at your forehead, too. The botox seems to be working already! But your lashes are amazing! They are so long that you may need to sweep them aside to see!

[June Gardens]

When I post, does my address in Google Reader get bold? I do not subscribe to myself, believe it or not.

[Amanda & the Furs (Zeus, Athena, Chloe, Eros, Phoebe & Triton) in Germany]

I think I may go & attempt to get a prescription for Latisse too! Your lashes are fab! Although the Army doctors are notoriously rude about stuff like that, so it may have to wait for a trip back to the USA.

Maybe the next family photo could have the all looking at the camera?!?! (just kidding!)

Off to do more laundry & be stressed that the Army is going to now make us move a YEAR ahead of our original date of departure. I'm not ready to move this year!

[Mary Lou won't touch it either-]

Darla-
He hates it when you touch his junk?

[Beth in IA, whose children have strict instructions to call after 30 minutes so I can say one of them is sick and I'm so sorry but I have to go]

June, a good bra will save the world one day, mark my words. Hoping your date tonight is more fun than I expect not-my-favorite co-worker's housewarming party to be. LOTS MORE. Proud to be one of the 16%.

[Vics]

Your eyelashes look amazing! Did you take a before picture?

[MissPam Reader of Pie.]

I bet everyone reads on Saturdays. How can you not? Just the ones with real lives are too busy to comment. We should be called the faithful yet pitiful 16%. 16% boring. 16% of Pie Peeps are 100%ers.

[Kristi]

June, you DO go bold in Google reader when you post. However, from experience, I know that Google reader doesn't always keep up with the times so if you aren't at a time when you normally would be, I just go straight to the source. Now that I use Google reader's "Next" button feature though, I hardly ever actually go to the reader site.

[Darla]

Mary Lou, funny! Not that junk. But if he doesn't let me touch his closet junk there won't be other junk touching either as irritated as I am.

[June Gardens]

Hunh. All I know about Google Reader is you guys dont show up in my sitemeter. So perhaps I have 16% reading on Saturday PLUS ALL THE GOOGLE READER PEOPLE. I would never know. Life is a mystery. Everyone must stand alone.

[The Zadge]

Oh, that explains it. 'Cause all the men on Match.com are icky. Is it the hot Australian furniture store owner?

[As Clever As It Gets erin]

That Eds... he is so cute when he sleeps! I didn't even see the fur near his snout until you pointed it out. Maybe I really do need glasses. And new date (Ruben? I like it!) will be silly putty in your hands when you bat those Latisse lashes in his direction. (Remember pressing silly putty onto the comics pages when you were a kid? Okay, just me then?). But the first thing I thought of with the Woofers all aflame was when will the hot firemen be back? ;-) Happy to be one of the 16%ers today!

[Jan Having a party Friday night. Lots of cleaning and repairs to do this weekend. I'm forcing my family to spring clean with me. They hate me.]

FUNNY, HILARIOUS THINGS!!!!!

I'm going to threaten my effing dermatologist if she doesn't prescribe some Latisse for me. EFF!!! Your lashes are SPECTACULAR!

I was up at the crack of dawn, on my only morning forever to sleep in, to go get my hairs did. And they look fabulous. I will be getting color next appointment. I have a cute haircut and my stylist wants me to do something "bold and hip" with my color. I told her I don't think I can carry off bold and hip anymore. Boulder-shaped and hippy, yes. Bold and hip, no.

I refer to June and all of you and the comments all the time. I usually say "a friend" or just the name of said person, as if I know you all in real life. But when pressed and I have to explain the whole dynamic, their eyes glaze over and they look at my like I'm insane. EFF THEM. You're all my friends, whether we ever meet in person or not.

Have fun on your date tonight, June. Why not build a new date-info-only blog. We will all know about it but your dates can just know about this blog. Like they are really going to go through all the comments to reference something someone said three weeks ago. They'll come to this blog, see the fun we all have, decide it's a safe place and you're a great gal and all will be well with the world.

[Mrs. Oh]

I'm in the "My friend June said" camp. If I mention anything blog related at home I get the "You have a blog????" comments from everyone.

The last time I went to a club was about 10 years ago and I felt like I was old enough to be everyones Mom. So I avoid that like the black plague.

Your lashes are wondermous - any side effects like the ones they advertise....change of eye color etc?

[June Gardens]

Pfft. Yeah. It is Zadge. Tomorrow I have a date with Jude Law too.

[June Gardens]

No, Mrs. Oh. The only people who have that side effect are people who gloop it right in their eyes--aka glaucoma patients, who this was made for originally. I put it on my lash line.

[In case y'all missed yesterday's comments dancer]

Ohmygawd I gasped out loud really loud when I saw your lashes.

Damn girl your hawt!

[Chelle]

My husband has lashes galore, which he gave to all of my children and I am SO JEALOUS of you and everyone else!

Would Edsel or Tallu try to eat me if I broke into your house to steal your Latisse? If not, please tell me where you keep it do I can be in and out as fast as possible and hopefully without waking you up.

[Tallulah]

talU byte you.

[Summer]

How do you wear glasses with those lashes? Amazing! Have a great date!

[Newer JoAnn]

He must have been reading Water For Elephants. They say "rube" a jillion times in that book. A jillion. You are welcome.
Have fun, I cannot wait to hear about it. I have to say, your dating life is pretty interesting. Also, you are making me want latisse and botox. Thanks for nothing.

[Sadie - Don't forget to fast Sunday night.]

Thanks for rewarding the faithful 16% with the great post. I could just see you and Ethel at the club wondering why all the teenagers showed up on Saturday night.

I am frantically cleaning, dusting, vacuuming and whatever else needs doing before guests arrive later today. Throw in laundry, grocery shopping and errands and it is a full day. But, I still had to stop by for a slice of Pie.

Have fun tonight with RUBEn.

[jbluehouse]

Not to depress you, June, but the Pioneer Woman has 14,267 comments today!!! Of course, she is having a giveaway but still...I thought it was great to have 228 comments on the Laverne & Shirley day! BBP is better cuz you keep it REAL.

[June Gardens]

Can you imagine how seldom SHE answers email?

[Duffylou - definitely feeling the effects of new puppy syndrome]

What color are your eyes, June? Also too, love that hair color. Makes for a dramatic, sexy look.

I know you guys were kidding about the botchulism poisoning from the botox, but you'd know by now if you had a bad batch. I've never had cosmetic botox, but I used to get injections for my migraines every 12 weeks. It was probably the fourth series of injections where I had an adverse reaction within 12 hours of the shots. Flu symptoms, fever, chills, muscle aches, headache. This lasted about three weeks varying in intensity. My neurologist concluded it was a tainted batch of botox.

I don't know how much botox is used in cosmetic procedures, but he used three full syringes so that may have been a reason I felt the effects.

[Karla]

Today I am going to knit with bunch of my friends at a coffee house. This may sound boring to most of you, but you have no idea what we talk about. Imagine the filthiest, funniest episode of The View and you would have our group. Last time the subject was prosthetic nipples. Why they should make them, all the different styles there should be (the "Madonna" was a popular choice) and who needs them (women whose boobs have succumbed to gravity, among others). Why we don't get kicked out of Starbucks every week I do not know. Anyway, we meet every Wednesday night, but sometimes on weekends we up our game and go to a fancy coffee house. Any subject ideas?

[June Gardens]

A TAINTED BATCH? Oh holy mother. My eyes are blue, and since Latisse, my great love, makes my lashes darker? My eyes look bluer.

[jbluehouse]

All the replies must come from Pioneer Woman's many minions - she has to have lots of help. Hey, maybe you could teach Lu to answer email.

[June Gardens]

Last night The Spanish Editor and I discussed which is better--older men or younger men. Older men have more money, and can be kinder, but there is the beauty factor and...stamina of younger. You could discuss that. Also, Iris is off my lap but I am waiting for my pizza now. It is necessary to sit motionless at the computer till said pizza arrives.

[Beverly]

My boyfriend is Brazilian which is, you know, not Colombian, but I think you nailed a South American accent. And let me tell you, those accents can make for some hilarious misunderstandings.

Enjoy your pizza. I just had a microwave meal which was just enough to make me mad. Those things never fill me up.

Have fun on your date!

[LauraL, amused with self]

I want a shirt that says "One of the 16 percent." hee!!

June, I think you should wear that alligator-head bustier tonight.

[Lisa Pie never wants to date again. Ever. i wasn't very good at it the first time around.]

Your Latissed lashes are gorgeous!

Most of my family and friends are already familiar with my conversations that being with "June said this, and Furry G said this back, and then Paula Hookers & Blow was HILARIOUS!!"

Hee!

P.S. have a great date. Just relax and think of it as an opportunity to make a new friend.

[Angie]

What if, instead of referring to us as your commenters, you call us people from work. Your blog IS work. I know you are naturally funny, but it has to take some effort to take pictures, upload them, type it, proofread it, etc. And, there's the tip jar. So, you are kind of compensated (probably not nearly enough) for writing. And we're people who are here. So there ya go. People from work.

[Sadie - Rushing off to put out another fire.]

I just had an ad for getting a degree in Fire Science. Maybe I could use it to light a fire under myself so I can finish my housecleaning instead of stopping by to catch up on the 16%.

[Amish Annie/Paul no plans for this weekend finally and LOVIN' IT!]

Sadie, I read your comment as "Fish Science" and thought that sounds about right after last night's ice fishing escapades with Hulk, Peter and D of C. My ad is for gout though and I reread your comment and figured out you had written "Fire Science".

[Mrs Blue - who thinks you are my friend too!]

I'm still voting for you to pay a visit to the fire station and ask if any of those hawt men have single friends or brothers... but as I wait for that to happen I am enjoying the Latisse photo :) because I should not be cleaning house or showering or organizing stuff to get ready to do taxes or anything else more productive like that at all!

[Just Paula.]

Pioneer Woman has been Stepfordized. She's a down-home, aw-shucks, home-schooling, church-going, cookbook-writing, bad cat-naming, my-life-is-perfect damn Stepford Wife from Bumfuck, Oklahoma. It's the only explanation.

[The Other Erin]

You know what would be fun (for me, anyway) to do on a day when you don't know what to blog about? Do tarot readings for some of your readers. Obviously, you'd have to do them ahead of time, but you could store them up for boring days, maybe do a few readings per post. I'll volunteer myself to go first. My cousin used to read my cards when I lived with her, and I have my own but I feel like having someone else read them for you is more fun. Though I don't know if the reading would be as accurate if you're reading for someone who's not sitting right there with you. (I'd think so. I mean, don't they have telephone psychics who read tarot cards?)

[Suzanne]

I think I am going to have to look into this Latisse business. Amazing!!!

[Mother's best friend.]

June I am thrilled to be one of the few, the proud, the 16%. Mother kept telling me I had to read the comments, and now that I have started, I can't stop. I remember watching you get ready to head out to the fabulous Saginaw bars at 10p at night to do God knows what.

[Meg at the Members Lounge]

Ahh, please! Pioneer Woman and her lame giveaways could not be boring. She's keepin' it about as real as a Housewife of Beverly Hills.

I still don't understand how you didn't know about a bar with outdoor couches within walking distance. So jealous!

[Tee]

Your hair and lashes look great! The hair on the floor around Edsel made me laugh. That looks so familiar, except all the stuff on the floor is dust bunnies and not cat hair. Sad.

Kristi was right on point with talking about June and all the gang. I have a friend in real life name June, so it's confusing. I just started saying, "you know (our June's real name) that lives in NC. I think I'll take Jan's lead and just refer to y'all as friends. And too, I bet PW never responds to e-mails.

I had the Fire Science ad as well. Maybe June needs to take that class. As for today's activities, I'm writing a diary about my Mom's health/mental issues. She fell this week and didn't think it was important to tell. Her postal carrier called me to tell me.

[The Furry Godmother]

Let's all stampede over to PW's blog and post ridiculous questions and see if she answers.

[Carol in Bama]

One of the 16% stopping by to catch up on June's lovely life. I am sitting in the sunroom looking out at the squirrels having sex on a tree branch right outside the window. My own "R" rated show right here. And that is about as much excitement as we will have around here today. Not nearly as much fun as having Iris asleep on your arm.

[June Gardens]

Moms best friend whose name could not be Gwen, nosir, what were YOU doing out at 10:00, is what I wanna know.

[June Gardens]

OHMYGOD I TOTALLY want to see squirrel sex.

[Your Pal from MA]

I just got a stud piercing in my nose hole!!

I'm so effing excited!! And I'm not even going out or seeing anyone tonight, so I have to sit here and be excited all by my lonesome. My dog does not seem to care! LOL!!

LOVE iT!! LOOOOVE!!

Tell us about the boy????? Date?????

[Jill Munroe...who is proud to be a 16%er.]

***Breaking News****

The RHoBH reunion will be a three parter! WOOHOO!!

and Pal...Who is this stud who violated your nose hole? BAH!

[Peter, hoping Pal and June both have good evenings.]

Pal and June--both with new studs. Hope they're good to you.

[Letha,]

Woo hoo, bloo de bloo.

Mad Men Season premiere on March 25!

[Poochie (shares her wine glass with cats)]

I feel gypped that I didn't get a tarot card reading. Also this outdoor place sounds promising. Let's go! Btw, you know where I stand in the older vs younger guys issue.

[The Furry Godmother 'bout damn time!]

Letha, of THIS year?

[Letha,]

Haha Furry, I KNOW! Yes, this March. I liked Mad Men on FB and the updates are coming in fast and furious.

[Pj is having a many paragraphs kind of day. Yes to the silly putty on the comics thing, Erin. Fun.]

Love the Eds teef which/that show even when he's sleeping.

Anybody twitching over that which/that thing? That's me being bad.

When I refer to my Pie Pals my husband looks at me with pitty in his eyes. There she goes with her imaginary friends again. Sigh.

I don't read you through Google Reader. I have you in my Top Sites favorites so when you post you show up with a pretty star. I'm glad I count.

Totally ADORE pussy cat doggies picture.

[Joan in NV, loving the portrait of the chitlins.]

Disneyland ad? WTF?!?

[MeMe, living vicariously large with the Pie family of friends, here in the cyber cocktail party of life.]

As a new reader, it is comforting to know that other readers speak to family members about what you read here, because I am doing that. Cue the husband rolling his eyes. . .

June, you are captivating with your lovely family of fur babies and your posse of witty friends, those in the flesh and those that are cyber-anonymous. So delighted to have found all of you, and to be among the 16% .

Knock Ruben dead with those spankin' lashes and have yourself a grand time tonight.

[Amish Annie/Paul]

Letha, how was the movie 50/50?