You know how sometimes I tell you a bunch of things in one post, as opposed to those super-focused linear posts I usually do? And you know how when you're done you say, "Wow. I sure am glad I read all that. That was not a waste of my time at ALL"?
First of all, today is the anniversary of the loss of my virginity.
Oh, mom? Don't read this one.
I know you're saying, "Wait. How is that possible? This is June 6th, and your wedding anniversary is July 18!" And that is good observing, there, Sparky. In fact, when I got married AT AGE THIRTY-THREE, I was not, you know, a virgin. By a good 16 years I wasn't.
This is because in high school, my annoying boyfriend Cardinal said, "Come up to my room. It's cooler up there." And in fact, had I paid ANY attention in science class and not just spent the entire time writing "June loves Cardinal" on my notebook, I'd have known that heat rises and that in fact it was NO COOLER up in Cardinal's room. Ironic, no?
So there it is. There was .0037 seconds of my life I will never get back, that changed everything and set the course for the part where I had to wear fuchsia on my wedding day.
Also, in other less crucial news, and I understand that the loss of my virginity 384858583 years ago certainly falls under the category of "crucial," Iris found my feather pen, that literally has feathers on it. She ripped it out of the pen holder and then proceeded to hiss and growl at everyone who wanted something to do with it, which includes everyone with fur, over here.
Behold Iris' growly toughness and that lovely floor. Oh, and Talu's politeness. No one cares that Iris is blind. They are a harsh lot.
And speaking of my dogs, I captured their fisticuffs last night.
no, edzul NOT wish to tell it to butt. you in beeg trouble, lu!
no, YOU in beeg trubble! Lu go pit on edz azz!
lu alwayy say dat, and it neber skareee. edz go dingo on lu azz.
not no what deengo is. lu kind of skare.
edz win. edz tuff dingos.
The other day I was walking ridiculous dingo Edsel and some little kid asked, "Is he bleeding?" Believe it or not his eyes look better. Also, I finally did put that bathroom rug away. Who is over herself and her slobeldyness?
Okay, I am off to work out. Those were all the earth-shattering things I had to tell you today. I swear to all that is holy I just washed that concrete floor. It is constantly a mess. What was your concrete floor advice, again? I already forgot. It's hard to remember stuff when you have growling blind kittens and dingos all over the place. Plus, does anyone know where I put my virginity?
P.S. I almost forgot! In honor of it being June 6, I thought we should have "How I lost my virginity day" here at Bye Bye, Cherry Pie. Tell me in the comments. And if you want to be anonymous, go ahead. Like, let's say you're Faithful Reader Anita and you lost your virginity to the entire football team and you were on so many roofies you barely recall anything. Just sign in as Not Anita. See? Or even better, Anita could sign in as Hulk and tell her story. Easy! Easy as pie!
