Thank you all for participating in yesterday's highly scientific and also deeply important survey, in which you selected teams for no apparent reason. Below are your results. Your highly scientific and deeply important results.
Because I have spent all morning buying songs on iTunes, I have not culled my photos for flattering pictures of the pets. Instead I said, Oh crap. I have to blog. I better take pictures of everyone and slap up each pet's number of team members tout suite. Yes, I do say things like "tout suite" to myself.
Oh, you wanna know what I bought on iTunes? Is that what you're asking me? A buncha shit, because perhaps you've noticed all my employment and steady paycheck.
Velvet Underground.
Amy Winehouse. That poor thing.
I should totally get that beauty mark piercing. It's not pathetic for a 46-year-old to have facial piercings. Is it?
Sine-Aid O'Connor. Right after I ripped up a picture of God.
You know, Sine-Aid, someone has to use that microphone after you. Germy.
Anyway. So here are your results.
Team Edsel and his weepy miraculous Virgin Mary eyes. 16 votes, which makes him the winner. And what is WRONG with you people? Last time I did this, ludicrous Francis won, and I think y'all just like to pick my most ridiculous pet. Is what you do.
I should really get that dog to the vet, shouldn't I? I mean, the weeping has been going on for weeks. It's better, but still. Not gone. pol;`..;/2
Wow! Iris wrote that last part. I wonder what "pol;`..;/2" means in cat? Probably, "yuuu fukkerz. yu meeet eeriss ever? so much better to be on eyeriss team."
And speaking of which,
Team Iris, 13 votes. "yahhh, grayte. eyeriss eateeng. why you not go look at stoopit edzel now."
Team standy-uppy Talu, 13 votes. Please note the box in the background. That is paint for the ceiling. I bought it in MARCH. And it has been in that box since then. In the meantime, my ceilings look like Greek Ruins.
Team Lily, 13 votes. Lillee hylee insult you pick edzul over her prettyniss.
Did you notice everyone got 13 votes except for Big Winner Edsel? Also,
Francis got 4 votes, even though he's dead. yuu be teim fran! fran hawnt yuu if you not on his teem!
Team Hulk got one vote, and if I'm not mistaken it was Hulk who said it. Then I voted for Not Team Hulk.
There was also one vote for Team Mom. "I'm real disappointed you all didn't vote for me. Boy, oh boy, blog readers."
That is what mom used to say to me when I did something bad. "Boy oh BOY, June. I'm real mad!" My best friend from high school, Donna, can say it and sound EXACTLY LIKE MY MOTHER. It is uncanny. It is sans cans.
You might be shocked to hear I often did things to make my mother real mad. Boy oh boy.
So there you go. I have big plans today. Ima clean the house, because it's disGUSting, seeing as I've been commuting to Winston every day and then spending inordinate amounts of time with ...friend on weekends. Too busy/trampy to clean my own house. I oughta be ashamed.
If there's time, I'm also gonna go to the courthouse and get my name changed. Somehow in the course of many ridiculous emails with ...friend, I have settled on the name Dimebag Wasabi. What say you?
At any rate, thanks for voting. Edsel would send you all inflatable underbites if there were such a thing. And if he knew his ass from a hole in the ground.
Dimebag Wasabi, out.
P.S. Tell me stuff to put on my iTunes. I always like your suggestions.
