Dudes, I keep TRYING to write this post and the phone keeps ringing with the birthday greetings, and I abhor it when my actual life interferes with my blog. I'm all, "I GOTTA GO! I GOTTA WRITE TO PEOPLE I'VE NEVER MET, MOM! God!"
Anyway here it is my birthday.
This is from my sixth bday. Once again I'd like to thank mom and dad for dyking out my hair when I was six. My gay lover, Pal from MA, is featured here with me in our matching dresses. We were what you might call close friends, and our poor parents had to make sure EVERYTHING MATCHED on us. We had matching sandals, too, but I see on this day we let our freak flags fly with different footwear.
We also had a matching stuffed owl named Ugg-Ugg, and we still OWN our Ugg-Uggs. Our owls had nothing to do with boots. We were sporting Ugg-Uggs before they were cool.
Nice. I am 22, here, with my friend Donna, the one I went to New Orleans with last year. In case you were wondering WHO DAT?
Anyway. So I opened some gifts this a.m. and why don't you look at them with me? Hmmm? Why don't you?
...Okay, six hours later. You guys, I have SO MANY pictures in my iPhoto files, and I must find some better way to categorize them. Do you know how many ding-dang pictures--FINE pictures--I take for this blog? Anyway, Faithful Reader Deb sent me a necklace and I couldn't find any photos of it but here is a crystal-clear one.
Here. This is a photo I took of my own smooth skin. Alternatively, here is a photo of the item on Etsy. Faithful Reader Deb sent me a necklace with my own new last name's initial. Spray. S for Spray. I'm Violetta Spray, how do you do?
Faithful Reader Emily also got me the Nars eye pencil sharpener I asked for, on my Amazon Wish List. Amazon. Wish for things, and you get them.
Friend-in-real-life Paula sent me a Queen Elizabeth waving action figure. She's solar-powered, much like the real queen. I put her in the window so she can say, "We're gonna soak up the sun. We're gonna tell everyone to lighten up."
Get it? Instead of I'm gonna? The royal we? Stay with me, there, Sparky.
Getting just the right amount of blur comes with experience. Once you have been blogging as long as I have, only then, can you hope to get the ratio just so.
My book will be called, Getting Nair for Tee.
On my 48th birthday you can all visit me at the home. My whole Amazon Wish List will be "Tennis balls for my walker." Or "Bone-colored sensible sneakers. With Velcro."
I should probably get dressed now and head to the DMV. I KNOW! Fun! It's the last step in my last name process. Then tonight ...friend and I are going to dinner. Last night we got the saltiest pizza ever possible. We ordered the Lot's Wife pizza. With sodium. Rimmed in salt. Then we asked if there was perhaps a salt shaker. I am just saying, being bloated on your bday is not welcome news.
We TOTALLY ate the pizza anyway. What? We ate at Morton's. BAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAA!
Okay. Am off. Talk at you tomorrow when I shall still be, you know, 47.