Before I begin complaining about my urinary tract infection, and right there I know you're riveted and not.going.anywhere, I wanted to show you this.
My Tracy Allman workout requires me to jump around like an idiot, and kick behind me and in front of me and to the side and really I just want to slug that Spencer Tracy with every ounce of my being. The point is, I have kicked both dogs in the snout several times, because apparently they aren't smart enough to say, "mom kikeeng. maybe get out of way to save snowt." This means that when I work out, I close the baby gate leading to the back room so that they can hang there, or open the screen door to go outside. I mean, it's an hour of their lives WITH ACCESS TO OUTSIDE, so how hard can it be to be back there?
Apparently if you're Edsel, very hard.
That hour staring at me from behind the baby gate was too much for him, so he climbed up on the cat window. There was part of me, like the evil 99%, that wanted to see how that idiot was gonna get himself out of THIS predicament, and I could tell he was all, "o sheat. how edzul go down?"but the 1% of me that is kind lifted his stupid arse out of there.
I can't decide if him getting up there makes him dumb or sort of smart.
I mean, he's supposed to be part German shepherd, and they're smart. Look at his shadow--total German shepherd smart-dog shadow.
But you can't always count on that shadow.
Anyway, I'm typing you and feeling like I really really really need to pee, except I REALLY DON'T HAVE TO, because you know what's fun? Is a urinary tract infection.
It started last weekend, and I went to the grocery store and bought over-the-counter relief, which worked, and I announced to ...friend/Ned that I had bought the stuff, because it's important that he know my every detail, and anyway things were great till yesterday. When there came my symptoms again.
I was so miserable this morning that for the first time in my dumb life I went to Urgent Care, where believe it or not they were fast, efficient and friendly. I know! I thought it'd be a nightmare. But really, I was so miserable there was no way I could wait till tomorrow. Oh, it's a dreadful thing.
They gave me a test (easier than the editing tests I've taken lately) and sure enough, I passed! I got a prescription for Cipro and they sent me on my way. So now could it kick in? Could it? Because this is dreadful. Cipro gets rid of Anthrax; surely it can knock out my UTI in a hurry. Right? RIGHT?
My point is, as I was checking out of Urgent Care, Ned/....friend called and I told him what was up. "I really should have gotten on an antibiotic right away," I said. "That over-the-counter stuff just alleviates the symptoms."
"Oh, I knew that," said helpful Ned/...friend. "I should've said something."
You THINK? YOU THINK MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE? NED? Oh, who is in a foul mood? Who feels poorly?
Anyway, I've been in the bathroom so much for the last 24 hours that now Edsel the smart-not smart German shepherd goes in there and just lies on the floor, waiting for me. He sighs and flumps onto the throw rug. Poor Edsel. His love is king.
So that's all I have to tell you, but that feels like enough. I'm gonna go. I think I have to pee.
PSYCH!





