Out past the cornfields where the woods got heavy. Out in the back seat of my '60 Chevy.
So I went to Michigan this weekend, to see my old friend Steve. We weren't young and restless and bored. Although we used to be.
Steve and I dated for, like, nine months in 1987. "You were the person I went out with the shortest of anyone," he told me this weekend. "I think it was the high-maintenance thing."
I'd love to argue with that, but I am seen above wearing a sequined dress to a kegger. Anyway, after our tragic 1987 breakup, time marched on and Steve got married to some low-maintenance woman, who he later divorced because he didn't maintain her properly, and the point is, he ended up moving to Seattle the same time I lived there, circa the early grungy '90s. We had a great time looking at slugs and drinking coffee and hanging with Kurt Cobain.
I tried to think of as many Seattle-ish things as I could. I don't believe we did any of those things. Sometimes we had brunch. Once I helped him move. Also, he stayed with me when I was in the throes of another tragic breakup, and one time he shot guns with yet another boyfriend I had, who enjoyed him a gun.
Yes, I HAVE had 32484848434 boyfriends. No idea why. Could someone hold up my hair? It's hot in here.
Steve's dad died this past month, and his dad was the coolest. I knew Steve was going back for the memorial, and it occurred to me he'd been in Seattle so long that probably he'd lost touch with a lot of Michigan friends, and I worried about who'd be there for him at the memorial.
That's why I got in my auto and headed to Michigan. You should have seen the look on his face when I traipsed in there.
Here I am moments after the big reveal. How'd he know it was me after all these years? Could it be the hair? Or the part where I had coachmen and a tiara?
I am NOT THAT HIGH-MAINTENANCE. GOD.
I met Steve's cousin and her husband, and they were totally extra super King Kamehameha fun. I also got to see a slide show of the life Steve's dad had, which included traveling just everywhere (Europe, all over the U.S., Machu Picchu. I mean, dude had him some adventures) and his ballooning hobby (he didn't blow up balloons all day. The kind you RIDE in) and his plane. Yes. He flew a plane.
"You can't say you didn't have a cool dad," I told him. "Oh, there was never a question about that," he said. "My dad was great."
Afterward, we went to a brewery and talked and Steve drank, like, this black beer that looked disgusting but is probably all the black rage in Seattle. We caught up on each other's lives and laughed at things and ate vegetarian appetizers, because apparently I attract vegetarians. Then repulse them with my high-maintenance-ness.
WHATEVER.
I have more to tell you about the weekend (yes, of course I saw Hulk) (we totally did it) (okay, we did not totally do it), but am headed to see ...friend, because we just went five entire days not seeing each other and we are at that gross new-relationship phase where it's like I've been away at sea for a decade or something. So I am saying to you I will blog more tomorrow after I make out with and act the fool over ...friend.
I also plan to make ...friend hem a few of my belongings, and I do hope he remembered to buy me many jewels to welcome me back to town.
...What?
