Sometimes? On Howard Stern? When a guest can't make a decision, Howard says, "You aren't buying a condo. Just decide."
When the vet told me that Iris had an inflamed bladder, and is this burning an eternal flame-y bladder, one thing she suggested was that Iris be allowed to go to high places. Apparently this helps them mellow out, dude.
"So if you're not letting her on counters or shelves, you might want to start letting her."
Has this vet met me? As if anyone here has a single rule. If I had kids I'd be Pippy Longstocking's mom. "Oh, yes, I'm eight, and I live alone."
I toyed with getting her a kitty condo, but see Employment: none. Cash flow: poor. Fortunately for me I have a blog, because apparently when you have a blog people give you things. See June: annoying. Faithful Reader Did Not Say I Could Say Who She Was, and in case you're thinking, "I've never seen anyone named Did Not Say I Could Say Who She Was," see You: Dumb as Stump.
Anyway, Faithful Reader Did Not Say I Could Say Who She Was sent me a brand-new, super-exciting, chosen just for youuuuuu...
...remember when they'd say that on The Newlywed Game? I have no idea if they say it in this clip, as I was not going to sit through a whole episode of this dumb show, above. See YouTube Clip: June has things to do. I did, however, watch the commercial that said it was like having a hairdresser in your home, and would that that were true, considering my silent, nonracist hairdresser. What a treat.
ANYWAY, the faithful reader sent me a cat condo. Is the thing I was trying to tell you that should have taken two sentences at the top of this post and has now morphed into War and Peace, The Blog.
The UPS guy flumped this world's heaviest box on my porch, and he could not see me in here, but he glared at the house as he sweatily left. Look. I can't help it I have a blog and people send me things. I totally should have run after him and said that.
I lost 50 pounds dragging that box of anvils in here, then I excitedly ripped open the box, thinking the entire thing'd pop out whole, somehow. Here is what I found.
Guess who called Ned.
Look, man. When you have All This, men stampede over to put things together for you. It did not hurt that I still had some of his fancy beer left over from his birthday two months ago. I didn't even need to play that card, though, the I-schlepped-all-the-way-to-Winston-Salem-to-get-you-fancy-beer-from-a-brewery card. Because, again. See: All This.
Lily hadn't even been expecting Ned and was furious at me I hadn't warned her so she could put on her face. She still took the opportunity to swish her tail in his beer.
Ned asked if I just had him put this thing together so I'd have something to blog about. I never. As one can plainly see, I could have just posted about The Newlywed Game and amused myself endlessly. Hmpf.
As the minutes ticked by, it became evident this was not your run-of-the-mill condo. Girlfriend had details.
We decided to take the thing into the room where said condo was going to reside, and that room was my back room, where apparently I have glowing gold bars. And if that were the case, why aren't we Seeing: June Buying Things Willy-Nilly?
Eventually, and by "eventually" I mean 16 hours later, the thing was completed, and I placed both cats on there terrecktly. Yes, I just said "terrecktly." Lily was over it immediately, but guess what. GUESS WHAT? Iris was all up in it.
I knew it was a good sign when she started lounging in parts before they were even put up.
Plus, there are not one but TWO dangling mouses, and she spent, oh, 97 minutes trying to kill said mouses and drag them to her lair. I figure it's a matter of time before she succeeds in tearing one down from its string.
Today, I put their food on their brand-new, super-exciting condo, and I think Edsel is annoyed that he doesn't know how to climb things. Anyway, I hope they continue to use it, because it was exhausting putting it up.
So I hear.
Comments
Sometimes? On Howard Stern? When a guest can't make a decision, Howard says, "You aren't buying a condo. Just decide."
When the vet told me that Iris had an inflamed bladder, and is this burning an eternal flame-y bladder, one thing she suggested was that Iris be allowed to go to high places. Apparently this helps them mellow out, dude.
"So if you're not letting her on counters or shelves, you might want to start letting her."
Has this vet met me? As if anyone here has a single rule. If I had kids I'd be Pippy Longstocking's mom. "Oh, yes, I'm eight, and I live alone."
I toyed with getting her a kitty condo, but see Employment: none. Cash flow: poor. Fortunately for me I have a blog, because apparently when you have a blog people give you things. See June: annoying. Faithful Reader Did Not Say I Could Say Who She Was, and in case you're thinking, "I've never seen anyone named Did Not Say I Could Say Who She Was," see You: Dumb as Stump.
Anyway, Faithful Reader Did Not Say I Could Say Who She Was sent me a brand-new, super-exciting, chosen just for youuuuuu...
...remember when they'd say that on The Newlywed Game? I have no idea if they say it in this clip, as I was not going to sit through a whole episode of this dumb show, above. See YouTube Clip: June has things to do. I did, however, watch the commercial that said it was like having a hairdresser in your home, and would that that were true, considering my silent, nonracist hairdresser. What a treat.
ANYWAY, the faithful reader sent me a cat condo. Is the thing I was trying to tell you that should have taken two sentences at the top of this post and has now morphed into War and Peace, The Blog.
The UPS guy flumped this world's heaviest box on my porch, and he could not see me in here, but he glared at the house as he sweatily left. Look. I can't help it I have a blog and people send me things. I totally should have run after him and said that.
I lost 50 pounds dragging that box of anvils in here, then I excitedly ripped open the box, thinking the entire thing'd pop out whole, somehow. Here is what I found.
Guess who called Ned.
Look, man. When you have All This, men stampede over to put things together for you. It did not hurt that I still had some of his fancy beer left over from his birthday two months ago. I didn't even need to play that card, though, the I-schlepped-all-the-way-to-Winston-Salem-to-get-you-fancy-beer-from-a-brewery card. Because, again. See: All This.
Lily hadn't even been expecting Ned and was furious at me I hadn't warned her so she could put on her face. She still took the opportunity to swish her tail in his beer.
Ned asked if I just had him put this thing together so I'd have something to blog about. I never. As one can plainly see, I could have just posted about The Newlywed Game and amused myself endlessly. Hmpf.
As the minutes ticked by, it became evident this was not your run-of-the-mill condo. Girlfriend had details.
We decided to take the thing into the room where said condo was going to reside, and that room was my back room, where apparently I have glowing gold bars. And if that were the case, why aren't we Seeing: June Buying Things Willy-Nilly?
Eventually, and by "eventually" I mean 16 hours later, the thing was completed, and I placed both cats on there terrecktly. Yes, I just said "terrecktly." Lily was over it immediately, but guess what. GUESS WHAT? Iris was all up in it.
I knew it was a good sign when she started lounging in parts before they were even put up.
Plus, there are not one but TWO dangling mouses, and she spent, oh, 97 minutes trying to kill said mouses and drag them to her lair. I figure it's a matter of time before she succeeds in tearing one down from its string.
Today, I put their food on their brand-new, super-exciting condo, and I think Edsel is annoyed that he doesn't know how to climb things. Anyway, I hope they continue to use it, because it was exhausting putting it up.
