Did you see they have pictures of poor Kate Middleton topless? Naturally I stampeded right over to them. Because I love her and I admire her, but if there's a chance I can see her beefeaters I am going to do so.
I realize this makes me a terrible person. Surprise!
Anyway she is very skinny. Very. That's all I have to say about that. God save those queens. Maybe pregnancy will be her friend, put the crown on those jewels, as it were.
Ned, who LOVES Kate Middleton, LOVES, is going to be disappointed, I think. She def. looks better with the clothes on. I mean, she looks GREAT with the clothes on. I did point out to him that as disappointing as Kate Middleton's middletons might be, just the fact that this was there for his perusal might mean this is going to be his best day ever.
Ned said he already knew it was gonna be his best day ever because he is going to see me tonight. Ned is a suckup. He said this as he stormed over for photos of Kate Middleton's royal twins.
How many stupid royal family breast euphemisms am I going to throw into this post? Oh, and I should mention, the photo of her buttockals, her throne, as it were, is fabulous. I guess Prince William is more of an ass man.
Kind of like his dad. BAH! Poor Queen Charles.
I have to tell you, in all my days, I have never sunbathed topless. Why does it come up for every famous person on the planet? I mean, I know. Kate is European. Those people can't keep their clothes on. Thank god we're uptight Puritans who bathe in our turtlenecks. Did you ever see Jude Law changing out of his swim trunks in France?
Talk about disappointing.
That was a short story.
If you catch my drift.
If you're picking up the very tiny royal staff I am throwing down.
So that's my celebrity gossip for today, although I did manage to carve a few minutes out of my pressing schedule to watch a tape of Dina Lohan acting all drunk on Dr. Phil. That whole family sucks ass.
When did I become Perez Hilton?
Anyway, that's pretty much all I have to tell you today. I have to go to the grocery store now, because so far this week I have either lived off that healthy vending machine at work, and who doesn't enjoy spending $4 at the vending machine, or I have gone to Hardees, which I don't even like.
And yes. If it ends in "ly," it doesn't need a hyphen. Even if it is modifying a noun. Which in this case it isn't even doing. Also, do you really believe in your heart of hearts that my chicken tenders were freshly prepared? Like, was that chicken running around free behind the Hardees just yesterday morning? Because I cannot quite accept that.
On that note, I am off. To get things at the store. Maybe I should get things on Sunday and just buy something to eat for lunch today. That makes more sense, right? Because everything will go bad by Monday. I'm glad we had this talk.
Tell me everything you are doing this weekend. Every stupid detail. I mean, other than looking at Kate Middleton's Windsor Castles, over there.
Good lord. Someone stop me.