Tallulah and I are like Elliott and E.T. She has hurt her foot.
Okay, and really? You're going to say, "How're you two like Elliott and E.T.?" Are you really gonna do that and be all young and not know? Because that is the last straw.
At my old workplace, where I am freelancing, there is this very young girl (VYG) and I remember LAST time I worked there, she didn't know what Men at Work was. I mean, at all. "Is it a song? How does it go?" Then yesterday I referenced The Courtship of Eddie's Father, as you do, and she was all, "?"
"You never saw it in reruns?" I asked, not even daring to make a Rerun and Raj reference.
If people keep getting younger Ima run out of material.
Anyway, any VYG reading this, Elliott was at school and E.T. got drunk and Elliott felt the effects and let all the frogs go. Also when E.T. was dying (spoiler alert!) (who said in the comments they hate that? I do too.), Elliott was, as well. Which was fine with me. I did not bond with that movie as others did.
For no apparent reason, Ned and I downloaded an episode of That Girl the other day, and in my opinion, it has held up, unlike Welcome Back, Kotter, which so didn't. Marlo Thomas was so completely 100% hot. I really never understood what she saw in Donald. But there you go.
I have no idea how I got off on this tangent. My POINT is that Talu has been licking her foot, and licking it, and also giving it the occasional lick. So I took her to the vet.
Anyway, of course they found her paw all red and raw and infected, and now she's on antibiotics and pain pills, and I don't see nobody giving ME no delightful pain pills for MY hurt foot. How is that fair?
I am also pleased to tell you that Luis has lost FIVE POUNDS since Marvin moved out. He overfed all our pets. I can only imagine the Lulu on Hee-Haw impression Henry and Anderson Cooper are doing at this juncture.
You know what VYG would not get? Are Lulu on Hee-Haw references.
Afterward, I emailed Ned, who feigns concern about my pets, or perhaps it's real because he is obsessed with that cat of his, who he didn't want in the first place. Some girl left that cat there. Did I ever tell you that? A friend of mine* (*Daniel Boone) (shut up) said the only way for straight men to have cats and not seem gay is when the cat is left over from a relationship. Fortunately, Ned passes this test.
Anyway, I told him about Lu's weight loss, and how proud I was of her, and how taking her out for her traditional I-survived-the-vet Happy Meal probably impeded her progress.
"You didn't really give her a Happy Meal," said Ned, who probably last went to McDonald's in 1982. "Of COURSE I did," I wrote back. "I ALWAYS do. She gets such a happy I'm-eating-fries expression."
"Oh. Brother." is all Ned wrote back. Then later he yelled at me for not keeping the prize.
And speaking of not McDonald's, Ned cooked for me last night, and yes he DOES need a butter dish. However, he cooked and I didn't, as usual, so who am I to complain? And yes, this was effing delish. Then right after I got a migraine and had to go home.
Yay! June is fun!
Oh, I was sick. I've had a ton of migrianes lately and it's probably one of those tumors going around and not a migraine at all.
We did manage, before my migraine set in, to watch When Harry Met Sally, which I had never seen before other than the 3949494994 times I've seen it and how I know it by heart. Ned, however, really HAD never seen it, because it's a girl movie and he only likes dark depressing brooding sad downer deep foreign films where everybody stands around and sighs, but he liked WHMS anyway. Because it's a good movie.
You want to know what, though? We downloaded it on Amazon, and some of the music was different! I think it was all the Harry Conick, Jr. songs that were gone. But having watched it 86 times I am acutely aware of any changes, and let me tell you, IT WAS NOT THE SAME with generic music. And I don't even LIKE Harry Conick and his junior that much. Still.
And by the way, I'm Ben Small, of the Coney Island Smalls.
Oh, and also, "willage."
Who loves that movie? Is it me?
So basically, Ned had to feed me, sit through that movie, then watch me leave in agony. You know what I am? A fun date.
I guess that's all I have to tell you. I have to go to Target for more migraine meds and am kind of sick of self. I would love to throw a Courtship of Eddie's Father joke in here now but too brain-dead to think of one. Stupid migraines. Stupid Mrs. Lee.