Last night, my friend Hibiscus Wilson had a fundraiser for animals, and she invited me. Because you may not know this, but when it comes to animals, I am kind of a fan.
She had it at her downtown office, which is coincidentally where Ned lives, and did I mention Ned has been out of town till yesterday? And that this may have been making me bereft?
He wanted to work out after work, which, really? He's one of those people who enjoys working out, which, really? So the plan was he'd go home and work out like it's fun, then he'd call and I'd leave the fundraiser and go to his house.
At quarter to seven, he called me. "I'm still at work."
Can you imagine? After a hard week in Las Vegas pricing prostitutes, and getting to town at 2:30 a.m. night before last, then he had to go work at work? I mean, again, it's nothing like my grueling 25-hour workweek. Still.
"I'm exhausted, I have a headache, and I am leaving here soon."
"Do you, you know, want to go home and go to bed? I can see you Friday." I said this like if we'd done that, I wouldn't have gone home and cried into my giant pillow. Which is only funny if you saw So I Married an Axe Murderer, which believe it or not is actually funny.
See. I put on a clip where he DOESN'T say the line about "He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight on his giant pillow" because that's the kind of efficient blogger I am.
So I offered the caveat that we could see each other another night, and he said, "Look. I feel awful. I am exhausted. But I'm GOING TO SEE YOU if it's the LAST THING I DO."
Hibiscus's office is on the second floor, right above that theater where Ned and I saw the scary play last week. As I was climbing the stairs, I ran into the woman who taught my running school a couple years ago. Remember when I did that? Anyway. we chatted about my plantar fasciitis, because I am a riveting conversationalist. She gave me some tips, and she mentioned she kept working out the whole time she had it. And, !.
I stampeded to the food table.
"Well, hey, June!" It was Jo.
"Mrrphfmppmm!" I said. There were these crab cakes? And also huge strawberries with homemade whipped cream? And cheese? And did I mention the crab cakes? By the end of that thing I was walking sideways.
The other good news is that Hibiscus had her dogs at the party.
Finally, Ned called and was ready to (wait for it) go to dinner. Man, was I ever starved. Because I hadn't been over there shoving my astrological sign down my gullet all evening or anything. Nevertheless, Jo and I walked down to the restaurant to wait for Ned. She was just gonna say hi and watch us fornicate on the table for a minute before she left.
While we waited, we saw the Yes! Weekly magazine in which she is the cover story. Jo is selling her mom's 394949394924948493 dolls and it's quite the news story here in Greensboro, NC.
She took the magazine with her when she left, and it was after she'd gone I managed to get this:
I love that photo.
So that was my night. I hugged dogs and irked Ned.