It's Monday night and I got out of work, went to the eye doctor and picked up my contacts, got some super-extra-healthy Chinese food, did my workout which was probably useless seeing as I ate Lot's Wife in salt with that Chinese food, then proceeded to start my Christmas cards.
First of all, I got these pretty cards last year that are pale blue--which seems to be my new favorite color--that have a glittery snowflake on them. Wait. Lemme take a picture.
Pretty, right? Also, do you have any idea how long that takes me, when I get up and snap a picture? That's 15 minutes I'll never get to spend chasing fireflies or whatever. I have to eject the memory card, put it in the camera, try to get the dang thing to focus. Oh, it's a whole rigamarole. Anyway, can you tell the snowflake is 3D?
Trying WRITING ADDRESSES on an envelope with that 3D snowflake in it. And I know I could address the envelope before shoving it in there. Shut the eff up.
My point is, after about 20 cards where I had to keep writing, "Merry Christmas! I'm divorced! Please don't send a card to June and Marvin Gardens this year. Yay! Christmas...cheer and stuff!" I got kind of depressed and decided to stop.
That is why I am in here attempting to put up your Thanksgiving photos, as it is the first free night I've had since God wore a onesie, and I PROMISE I will not see someone's picture in these 6 million emails. I did a search for "Thanksgiving" and "picture" in my gmail, so if you did not put that in your photo to me, prepare to send me the frowny emoticon at the end of this post.
By the way, I just remembered this was in my PERSONAL email, and if any of you are my friend in real life and you sent me the Thanksgiving pic in that email and not my blog email, you are SOL. I'm not also searching that goddamn thing beyond looking for this one of Hulk's right now.
Maybe the "B" in "BStar" stands for bitch. Do you think?
That's my friend in real life, Nadja, and I even know that guy playing bagpipes. I feel like that person in green is this person Nadja and I know, but I also know that person moved away from LA, so I am probably halucinating. I miss Nadja.
I think that is NOT Paula. How do we know for sure, though?
Now I have that annoying Dionne Warwick song in my head.
"Annoying" Dionne Warwick song. That narrows it down.
I want a new Thanksgiving kitty.
Jan, who did not TELL me she's from Illinois but I know it cause she's read me for 70 years, is resting after cooking and cleaning. Jan is not a tree. I believe this is her view from her resting place. Her final resting place. Look, now I've killed Jan. Merry Christmas!
I just remembered my friend Dottie sent a photo of her dog, Tug, on Thanksgiving to my PERSONAL EMAIL and next year there will be NO MORE OF THAT. Also, we WILL ALL BE TITLING OUR PHOTO "Thanksgiving picture." Because guess who is on hour three of this and is cranky??
However, Tug is a muffin.
Okay. My neck hurts. It's almost midnight. If I missed your photo I AM SORRY, but officially cranky and tired now. Good gravy.
Did I say Merry Christmas yet?