Last night, after I came home and WENT TO SLEEP for two hours, because news flash, three hours at night is not enough, I got up and looked at your songs you listed for me yesterday, then listened to most of them on iTunes. I even bought some!
Was not at all annoyed with Faithful Reader Just Paula, who made up stupid lists of songs no one on Planet Earth would listen to, such as Afternoon Delight. I wasn't looking at who wrote what, I'd just get to the next list and be all, Who listed I'm a Little Bit Country/I'm a Little Bit Rock and Roll and it'd always be that pesky Paula.
Anyway, after that I freelanced out my ass, as my old neighbor Alicia would say. Everything with Alicia was out her ass. "Mija, I clean houses OUT MY ASS today, then I get home, and my daughter make a mess in THIS house. So I clean out my ass again."
"Mija, you hear that loud neighbor last night? I yell at heem OUT MY ASS at 4 o'clock this morning. I was PISS out my ASS, Mija."
I miss Alicia.
Stupidly, I agreed to do freelance work for this OTHER company last month, and I knew the work was coming at some point THIS month, and I just knew when I said okay to that it would happen and I'd panic when it did. Sure enough, that freelance work is coming this weekend, and guess what else is due? Is it the statistics book I've been working on? So now I have to miss that deadline, and why must everything be chaotic all the time?
So that is my life in a nutshell right now. I have a friend who abhors it when people say "in a nutshell," but he's just going to have to move past it if he reads today.
Oh! Speaking of my friends, my ridiculous friend Enormous Member Steve sent me this this week:
It's a book on cats wearing wigs. As you do. How happy does that cat look, there? One day our pets will take over and you and I will be going around in stupid sparkly Juicy sweaters and rhinestone collars, and then we'll be sorry.
Okay, I am out of here. It was one year ago today that Ned asked me out. Hang on, I'll show you. We'd been emailing back and forth for two weeks at this point:
JuneGardens@gmail.com: I am proofreading a study where they put three young French men on the street, and the men would randomly approach French women: "Will you have a drink with me?" In 3% of cases the women said yes. Then they put the same in-my-mind-Marcel-Marceau-looking men out there and they lead with: "Do you have a light?" because everyone smokes in France. After the light was proffered, he'd say, "Have a drink with me!" and something like 36% of the women said yes. So if you are ever hitting on a woman, research shows you need to ask her a favor first. Somehow it endears you to her.
Alternatively, French women are just a bunch of tramps.
NedNickerson@hotmail.com: So, do you have a light?
JuneGardens@gmail.com: Oui!
NedNickerson@hotmail.com: Would you like to have a drink with me sometime this week?
JuneGardens@gmail.com: Wow, suddenly I'm so amenable to that plan! Yes. I would. That would be lovely.
Oh, how I squealed after that exchange. Then spent three days trying to lose 20 pounds.
Okay, out of here. Thanks again for your song suggestions. I really want to like that Florence and her machines, but I just can't.
