Honestly, who is sick and tired of her own head? I have had a migraine on and off since DECEMBER 23, and am officially cranky now. I'm writing this at 10:30 at night on Wednesday--although are you all thrown off about what day it really is? Cause it feels like Monday, but whatever. In two days I get to wear casual Friday clothes and that is enough for me.
My point is, it's 10:30 at night and I am cranky and have had a headache for 10 days and I didn't even blog today till just now and that about sums me up currently.
I just said goodbye to Ned, who came over to bring me dog food, not that I am eating dog food. I mean, things are bad but they aren't THAT bad. No, I was on the phone with Ned tonight and mentioned I had to go to the store because I was nearly out of food for old Ethel and Lalullah, there, and he said, "You are sick. You aren't going anywhere. I'll get the food and bring it right over." And then he called me from the grocery store, completely overwhelmed by the 3949594 kinds of kibble out there.
"I don't see the brand you told me to get. Let's see, there's Iams, there's Beneful, there's Rachel Ray Nutrish--" Ned stopped. "Rachel Ray Nutrish. Oh, brother." Ned's "Oh, brother" is my version of "fucking fuck." Which I believe is the interjection I used the first time I saw Nutrish. Anyway, eventually he found the dogs' Purina One, and if anyone emails me to say it's poison for dogs, I will personally place my migrainey vascular system straight into your head.
Do you know I have probably gotten 100 emails through the years? "Joooon, I see you gave your dogs avocado. It's POISON to dogs!"
"Joooooon! Don't feed those dogs any more grapes! They're POISON I tell ya, they're POISON!"
"You can slap me with your liver, June, but I saw you fed the dogs concrete and nails. That is pure poison to dogs, Jooon."
And yet? Here these idiots still are. While Ned was here, Edsel ate an entire plastic chew toy. "He's swallowing that." "I know. He always does."
I know. You all can't WAIT till one of these dogs falls over dead so you can say JOOOOON! We TOLD you sooooooooo!
I like how when y'all are nagging me my name becomes Joooooon.
Anyway I am digressing, for a change, and what I WANTED to do was show you how pretty I looked when Ned came over.
Mmmm! Break me off a piece of that. I'm ILL, dudes. Ill. I be illin'. I never understood what "illin' " meant, did you? I knew it didn't literally mean one felt ill. Anyone? Anyone cool? Anyone who was cool in 1987?
Also, won't you enjoy my snow leopard pajamas? I brought sexy back tonight, is what I did. But let's pause and consider what an excellent boyfriend Ned is. I mean, that was really nice. He lives nowhere NEAR the grocery store, by the way, and I live three blocks from it. How did I score Ned? I guess when you look like this...
Before I go, I wanted to show you something cute. I mean, cuter than me in those leopard pajamas. The other night, I went to TinaDoris' haus to make bacon bourbon chocolate chip cookies for our boss.
Here's TD reviewing the recipe. And by the way, she and her husband just bought a cool old house and I kind of hate them.
Here's the built-in bar in the dining room. Have I mentioned I kind of abhor them?
Anyway, there we were, mixing and measuring (actually, TinaDoris had measured the ingredients and had them ready when I got there, as though we were cooking on a TV show)
and while we enjoyed our own selves, her dog Penny sat around, hoping we'd drop, oh, a side of bacon or whatever.
pennee not pikkee. you also drop choklit chip and she be fine.
JOOOON! Chocolate is--
Oh, shut up.
Anyway, what I wanted to show you was this:
Here's TinaDoris' husband with Penny the other night. I don't know if you remember this, because maybe you were living your life or whatever, but the day TinaDoris GOT Penny, she took her directly to my house, at my insistence, and TD's husband came over, too, and I was there the moment he met his new dog.
Which, here. ARE YOU DYING? How cute is that?
June. Discovering that baby things grow, since 2013.
Ima go now, but here's a picture of someone climbing on the bar on New Year's. She was one of the impossibly attractive crowd there that night.
And here's someone who may not have been all that pretty by night's end. She was, however, wearing sparkly shorts that were to die for.
Okay, that's all. Talk at you. MY HEAD and I will talk at you.
Throbbingly,
June
