I felt a little headachy when I woke up today, AND THAT ANNOYS ME, since I'm, you know, desugaring and all. In fact, I may have to abort the eat-no-sugar plan for now.
I KNOW. But listen. After paying my delightful COBRA, and if you don't pay him he'll slither up and bite you. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAA. Anyway, after paying my COBRA and then paying H&R Block $391 to tell me I owe money in taxes, it turns out I'm tapped out. And I don't get another freelance check till the 29th. Which means I have to default to my poor-person grocery shopping. Eating the sugarless stuff is kind of expensive.
I don't know. I'll try my best to buy good groceries. I mean, I won't buy a 12-pack of Twinkies and call it poor-person food. But tons of vegetables and bags of pistachios are not going to happen this shopping trip. And bread WILL be included, as will pasta. And brown rice. I think I'm allowed to have small amounts of brown rice anyway.
Look. I've started the first three paragraphs of this with "I." Nice. Anyway, is there anyone cook-y out there who can think of what I can eat, cheap, that is sans sugar or bad-for-you carbohydrates?
The REASON I think I have a headache today is I made chicken breasts last night and I put garlic salt on them and I wonder if that has MSG. I looked at the container before I shook it all night long, but it said nothing, which lead me to tell myself, "Maybe all it has is garlic and salt!" Oh, the lies we tell ourselves. And just try Googling "Does garlic salt have MSG in it." You will find nothing helpful except hysterical people talking about how bad MSG is. I ALREADY KNOW THAT. THANK YOUUUUU, HYSTERICAL PERSONNNNNN.
I think the other reason I am headachy is because I did freelance work all night last night, and sometimes proofreading all day then proofreading at night can, you know, cause a headache. All this to say it's not an INTOLERABLE one, and I am likely to live, it's just irritating.
The other important thing I need to say is the other day, I dropped the lid of my deodorant into the toilet, which lead to me throwing that lid out, which then lead to the deodorant I had drying up and me needing to get new stuff. I was in the deodorant aisle at the store--and I adore it when people spell it "isle"--when this very pretty woman who was not Julia Roberts thank god came up and put some Secret in her cart, and it was one of the fancy scents, and could you please tell me when it was that Secret stopped just having the one scent in the light-blue roll-on bottle that my grandmother used till she took her last breath and started making every scent and color on the planet?
Why do we need 72 scents? "Oh, I need to smell like Ooo-laa-laa Lavender!" "Oh, not me. If I don't smell like a Serene Citrus, I'm toast."
The point is, I totally just copied the pretty girl, thinking if I use her deodorant scent I would magically get pretty too. And now I'm sitting here smelling like a red Life Saver and I want to kill myself. But looking pretty doing it!
Anyway, I have to go. I DO have to say somehow I LOOK better since being sugar-free. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror yesterday (I act like that was a total mistake. Like I'm not constantly in a mirror pecking at my own reflection like a parakeet) and I was all heyyyyy! What'chu doin' later? Like I wasn't just gonna be stuck with myself. "Well, I'll be with YOU, canary idiot."
Okay. So let me know, will ya? About what I can buy. If you're into that sort of healthy cheap groceries thing. If you're like me and the Chinese delivery guy knows your sign, maybe today would be the day to leave a "What a lovely post, June." comment. A "Gee, I wish I were pretty like you, June." comment. A "Nice budgie, June!" comment. You get the idea.