Because it's been awhile since I've done it, and because I love myself so bad, I made all the pets do Circle of Life last night.
And finally? Finally?
The circllllle! The circle of Lu!
I absolutely cannot stop giggling hysterically at poor Talu and her circle of hate mom now. Oh my god, everyone here is gonna EAT MY THROAT the second I sit down.
It totally looks like Talu is wearing my hair, which she probably will once she kills me and scalps me with her flea teef.
Anyway. In other news, Ned was kind enough to share with all of us his review of the ridiculous depressing Romanian nun movie we saw Sunday, so won't you join me for another edition of Nedflix?
Beyond the Hills, directed by Cristian Mungiu and starring a cast of Romanians you’ve never before heard of, is – well, let’s just say it’s a little slow.
It is not well-paced, is what I’m saying.
This movie would have difficulty finishing ahead of a three-toed sloth in a 50-yard dash.
It is the molasses of movies.
Mungiu was the director of 2007’s 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days, a well-received if pretty doggone intense film about an illegal abortion in 1980s Romania. So there was reason to have moderate hopes for his latest effort. Beyond the Hills is the story of two orphans, now young adults, trying to find their way in the world. Voichita has signed on with a convent outside of a rural Romanian village, while Alina has moved to Germany to work as a barmaid. There is clearly a romantic history between the two, and Alina CANNOT LET THIS GO! She returns to Romania to try and convince Voichita to move to Germany with her, but Voichita has found a home at the monastery.
Thing is, nobody likes it when half a lesbian couple finds the Lord. It spoils everybody’s fun. But hey, it happens, and the proper thing to do is to move on and find yourself another lesbian. There are other fishes in the sea, I believe the saying goes. But this is beyond Alina, and she proceeds to drive everyone--movie characters and viewers alike--batshit crazy. One can’t help but feel sorry for the nuns and priest who have to put up with this crap, and they do their best, if misguidedly so, to help her. But no good deed goes unpunished, and this film certainly drives that point home.
So yeah, slow. And a little crazy. Maybe if the popcorn hadn’t been so salty. But we’ll never get that time back, me and June. Keep that in mind if you’re considering this movie.
I guess that's all I have to say to you, and all Ned has to say to you, but oh! One more thing?