Yesterday, after work, about 50 people from my office went out for cocktails, and who am I to buck that trend? So we all piled in to this huge bar while it stormed outside, and one wonders if it could have been more humid in that dwelling.
I had been wearing this very light lavender/gray cover-up thing, which is hard to describe but oh, wait. I can show you a picture of me in it. I know! Hang on.
Ever since Ned saw these pictures from this event back then, he has eschewed that green shirt cause he says it looks like he's wearing a sack. Does anyone remember that Ned scored high in vanity on that narcissism quiz?
I, however, scored high on exhibitionism, and I removed that gray/purple thing as quickly as possible, so everyone got a lovely view of my undercarriage and so forth with the skimpy shirt I had on under. Dudes, I would taken THAT off too, and shaved my head and worn pasties, it was so close in that place.
My POINT is, eventually I stopped talking to just everyone and settled on people from my department, mostly the Spanish team. We have a whole group who does everything I do, only in Spanish. Madre de Dios!
I am not saying I do the work of a whole department. I just mean if I edit something, they do too. Only in Spanish. Oh, hoo care. Hoo-o care-o.
So I'm talking to the boyfriend of one of the Spanish team, and he says, "Yeah, come here, June. You gotta look at my phone. Here's my friend's picture on Facebook. Look at her! Don't you look alike?"
Any time anyone has a friend with a bulbous nose and big hair, I have a twin all of a sudden. And this chick did have my blup/hair look. Blup/hair. Good typing skills, June. From now on, when I describe myself, I'm just gonna use "blup" and you'll all know what I mean. BULB. BULB/hair. God. Anyway, "Yeah, I can see it," I said, wishing I could afford a nose job so bad.
"I know, right? She could be your daughter!"
And even more cheer-inducing, the girl was THIRTY-TWO. So if I'd have been a mom at 16...
Did I mention
Anyway. Eventually Ned showed up at World's Humidist Bar and we went out for lesbian tacos. I got an appetizer that's big giant huge large pieces of bacon that had been baked in maple syrup, presented to me sticking out of a Mason jar.
In unrelated news, I don't know why I can't retain my youthful look.
Oh, but look! Guess what Ima do now? I'm going to ACTUALLY REMEMBER to tell you something I said remind me to tell you about. I know! It's Miracle Day here at Bye Bye, Pie. It's Miracle/Blup day.
I found this map day before yesterday that shows you how we say SO MANY THINGS differently in different parts of the country. Click on the link to see it.
Oh, it was riveting. Ned says all kinds of things different from me, like "paj-aaaaaaahhh-mas" whereas I say "pa-jehehehehehe-mas." Basically, as a Michigan native, any time I can take a word and make it more nasal, I will.
He also says THANKSgiving and I say ThanksGIVing, and he says UMBrella and INSurance. These things are wrong. And the Spanish team at work, just last night while all the moisture left our bodies and stayed there on the surface of our skin never to evaporate, talked about their pretty names and how our American words for their names totally ruined them. Like, Alexandra, when one speaks Spanish, is "Ahhllleehandlaa." Of course, I say "EhhhhhlexANDraaaa" because, nasal. Especially coming out this blup of a nose.
So, yay. Go look at the maps. I think maybe I will shower. Which I pronounce "shaaaaawurrrr."