First of all, I won't have a new Purple Clover article out today because they inexplicably printed two of my articles last week. Second, I am eating toasted cheddar cheese and sun-dried tomato bread I bought at the local bakery along with not-perfectly-round, scarred, EFFING DELICIOUS tomatoes I got from the produce truck that comes to work on Fridays. Which pretty much makes me the luckiest heifer on earth.
Oh, except for the card fraud. My bank called me yesterday to ask if I'd purchased $217 of groceries in Reston, Virginia yesterday and--news flash--I did not. Who buys $217 of groceries? So they're going to replace my money, but it'll be FIVE DING-DANG BUSINESS DAYS, so I'm glad I have my pretentious bread and delightful tomatoes at the moment.
After my initial annoyance and general, "How did they GET my card number?" and trying to picture how you buy groceries with no physical card, it occurred to me that whoever this thief was purchased GROCERIES. Not naked-girl mudflaps or testicles for his truck. "Maybe they really needed the groceries," I told Ned. "Maybe they hate to commit a crime but their family was starved."
"Maybe they bought $217 worth of beer," said cynical Ned.
Okay, maybe they did. But if they bought food for their people, and the stupid bank--who let's face it, are bigger criminals than MY criminal--is going to foot the bill and I get reimbursed? I'm fine with it. So in order to not get furious, that's how I'm thinking about it.
Otherwise, here's a wrap-up of my weekend.
Tallulah was just interested in Ned as a person. His handling of raw hamburger was irrelevant. Also, could there BE more alcohol in this picture? In my defense: red wine purchased for Ned WEEKS ago and it's sat there untouched for awhile. Tequila for Ned's jalapeno margaritas for his birthday. Corona was in the moment. Ned likes pretentious beer unless it's hot out, then he likes Corona. Still. Who are we, the Days of Wine and Roses? George and Martha in Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolfe? Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald?
Okay, I'll stop.
That's pretty much all I have to say to you. Hope your weekend was snappy.