Yesterday, I ended up talking to not one but two of Ned's old girlfriends on Facebook--one of them even friended me. The other one said she could see how happy Ned was via the six hundred thousand pictures of Ned I've put on Facebook,
and lemme tell you something. When you have All This, what man wouldn't be happy? I mean, other than my husband who left me.
At any rate, I thanked Ned for banging everyone female all over yonder (or at least in Raleigh) through the years, so I could have fun on Facebook yesterday.
I also recently found a woman on Facebook, Lois, who I was friends with in Seattle, and although we weren't besties or anything--and how much do you want to smack me in the vagina for saying "besties?"--she was pivotal to my whole life. We worked together, and as I'd just moved to Seattle and knew no one, she introduced me to Marianne, who is my friend to this day.
Then we all got laid off, and Lois found me my next job. We worked together at the new place, where I met Paula, who is my friend to this day.
THEN, Lois introduced me to a guy she thought would be perfect for me, and I ended up dating that guy for two years. He's the one who got married five minutes after we broke up, and I like how every time I tell that story, the window of how long it took him to get married gets smaller.
Soon I'll be saying, "He's the one who got married in the living room while I was still sleeping." "He's the one who took me to his wedding on our first date." What I like about myself is my ability to never exaggerate.
So, yeah. I found Lois. I wonder if she'll my change my life dramatically via the Face? Do you think? Or was her magic just happening in the '90s in Seattle?
Other than my adventures with social media, I am pretty much glued to a statistics textbook, and I don't know if I've mentioned how fun and rewarding that is. Well, it IS rewarding, as I will be getting cash money for it, and then I have to give all that money to the government, but at least that stupid debt will be paid off.
Debts are annoying.
I had better go shower and get into my Garanimals, as it's casual Friday but I still like to match, but before I do I'll address more of your "Here's what you should blog about, June" requests from the other day.
What was the best meal you ever had?
See. I know several people, Ned and my best friend Pal From MA included, who concentrate on the meal. Ned will say, "Remember that restaurant we went to in Ohio, where I had the squid?" and that won't help me at all. If he said, "Where that guy was talking to a sock puppet" I'd remember which restaurant. Or, "You know, the restaurant where you really liked that woman's shoes." Then it'd all come rushing back to me. Food? Eh.
I do, though, remember having a dinner at my friend Dot's house, where she made a pork loin, and had I been able to marry said pork loin, I would have. I asked her how she made it and she did that thing good cooks always do: "Oh, I don't know. It was no big deal." So that probably counts, as does every time I ever had the taquitos at El Azteca in East Lansing, Michigan.
What was the worst wedding you ever attended?
I like going to weddings, so I don't really have a "worst." Once I went to the wedding of a woman I worked with (same job where I met the pivotal Lois from above) and the bride was poor. I think she was a secretary or something at our work and didn't have a ton of cash. The wedding was in the daytime at a church, and the reception was just us in the church basement, no band, no dinner, just punch and cake. Punch and cake.
But you know what? They stood up in front of all of us, in that basement, and each gave a little speech about how much they loved the other person. And they couldn't stop looking at each other the whole time. It was the least-elaborate wedding I ever attended, but the sun shone on them through that church basement window, and I knew it was also the most sincere wedding I've ever attended.
Okay, I'm off. To work and then work after work. I feel not at all like Cinderella. God, where did I leave the keys to the pumpkin?
June and All This, out.