I have the hiccups, which is a delightful feeling that I hope lasts all day. Once I was at a party and got those really painful hiccups, and this woman--who let's just say made the rockin' world go round--had me lean over the kitchen island as she lay across me with all her might.
My hiccups were cured immediately. I was probably 22 when that happened, and every time I get the hiccups I wish some large woman would come lie on me. Did I mention my softball team?
Dammit. Just hiccuped. God, I hate these. I totally stole the "made the rockin' world go round" line from Ned. Who, of course stole it from Queen. Still. Funny.
Freddie Mercury should really try to be more dramatic when he performs. Maybe punch things up a little. And is he saying he was left alone with Big Fat Fattie? Or was it Frannie? Either way, as soon as someone starts introducing me as Big Fat anyone will be the day I stop popping in to Steak-n-Shake. The day they start calling me Big Fat Fattie is the day I hurl my sizable ass off a bridge.
So I probably shouldn't talk about how I went to lunch with my coworkers yesterday and ordered nachos the size of a car. If I'd been IN my car, it'd have tipped over like when Fred Flintstone orders those ribs at the drive-in. Wait. Did they go to a restaurant that serves you at your car and THEN to the drive-in, or did they just happen to have a drive-in in Bedrock that had waitresses? Because, fancy. And that's a lot of pushing a car with several people and a dinosaur in it with your feet.
Oooo, and speaking of Fred Flintstone--and by the way, I just sat down and started writing. I have no stories in particular to tell you because hello, life of statistics proofreading and regular job and that's it. But SPEAKING of Fred Flintstone, if you were gonna go to the store and get some kind of bad cereal from your childhood, what would you get? Ned and I had this pertinent talk the other day. We also discussed cereal mascots from our childhood, and he had to bring up Dig 'Em, who I'd COMPLETELY forgotten about.
You know, he DRESSES like a kid, but he talked like an adult. Maybe he was one of those annoying 42-year-old men who still ride skateboards and wear the ironic trucker hat. Ironic trucker hats are out of style now, right? Please?
Anyway, would you go for Sugar Smacks, which they now euphemistically call "Honey" Smacks? Ned said he'd go for Frosted Flakes, which they've also changed to have no "sugar" in the title. They used to be Sugar-Frosted Flakes. And they were great. Tony was right.
I would be torn between Cocoa Pebbles or Captain Crunch with the Crunchberries that rip off the roof of your mouth.
I want a coin holder that looks like a vagina! Where can I get one? I'll bet those prehistoric "cut outs" were quality.
Anyway, what would you get? We should all go actually buy some and you could send me pictures. Wait. No. Dear god, no.
June and her "coin holder," out.
P.S. My hiccups went away. Oh, thank {hic}--crap.
