Faithful Reader Karla wrote me at one o'clock this morning to say every year, on the third of June, she and her friend call each other to say, "It's the third of June, another sleepy dusty Delta day."
I know we need to get over Billy Jo McAllister jumping off the Tallahatchie Briiiidge, but come on. That.is.hilarious.
No one ever calls me to ask if I remember the 21st night of September, but didn't I just MAKE a 21st night of September reference the other day? I guess I can call myself and make that joke. And no one calls me on April 4 to say shots rang out in the Memphis sky, but that's really kind of a sad song. What's Bono doing getting all caught up in which Americans shoot each other, anyway? Doesn't he have potatoes to worry about?
The last time I referred to the Potato Famine, some Irish person wrote me a SCATHING comment about it. The Irish. They are not over that famine yet. They're low on carbs. The Irish are a bit of a broody lot in general. Look at that Colin Farrell.
Did you enjoy my Irish accent? Did you? Did you like how I made him say "aye," like that's a thing the Irish just say all the time? Does anyone recall how for awhile I had a reader and commenter from Ireland, and I sent her the Irish Spring commercial? She never commented after that.
Here's kind of a gay erotica Irish Spring commercial. And what convincing accents! They couldn't spring (bah!) for some real Irish actors? Where was Colin Farrell?
My favorite part has always been when they cut the soap. Like that's something you do along with saying "Aye."
Once when I was a kid, I was having some kind of fit, and I know that's hard to believe. I was being moody, like Colin Farrell. Geez, I hope his people don't find this stupid post, I've mentioned him so much today. Hi, Colin Farrell! I know I made that crack about your looking-like-Wilona-on-Good-Times-with-those-hoop-earrings self, but you could still call me.
My POINT is, I was having some kind of fit, and my mother was fed up. "Now you stop that crying," she commanded, "and get in the bathroom and wash your face with hot soap and water."
I stopped crying immediately. "Hot soap?"
Guess who must have been a laugh riot to raise.
I have to go to work now, and I've said precisely nothing in this post, and I can't even remember what I was GONNA talk about. I'm certain it was important.
Manly, yes, but I like it too,