In case you were worried that I up and died like Mr. Bojangles' dog, first of all let me give you a hand off the Drama Express, and also let me fill you in on my weekend of working and Ned-ing.
On Friday, I went to Sephora with Faithful Reader and Friend in Real Life Laura, who has stalked me over to my job. We now work in the same place. Aaaaand we work about five minutes from a Sephora. You do the math.
And after. That's Chris and Lilly's baby. She is older now. She is somewhere between 10 months and 14 years old now. However, there will never be another picture of her that tickles me more. ant joon blawg suk. Yes, she DOES talk like a pet. What do you want from me?
Anyway, that was an exciting way to start my weekend, but then all of Friday night I work work worked on freelance stuff, then I got up Saturday and work work worked, is what I did.
On Saturday night, I went to a performance of sorts with a girl from work. It was a series of sketches done by gay men about being gay, and there was much glitter and blue eye shadow and funny gay jokes, so you can imagine. Unfortunately, no one saw me in the crowd and said, "You MUST be a drag queen! It's IN you, I can TELL!" No one recognizes my inner queen.
We exchanged Christmas gifts yesterday, because we were broke in December. I failed to tell you how a large bug crawled into my heating conductor thing outside, set himself on fire and burned out my entire, you know, heat system. I had to have the hot guy from the AC place come back, and it was around $800 to fix. Those who already HAD a gift from me at Christmas got those gifts. Everyone else was out of luck.
My POINT is, I got my sparkly squirrel.
I sent a Christmas list to my mother and Ned, and this was on it, and while everything else had a title and a link, this had SPARKLY SQUIRREL!!!!! My mother wrote me. "I'm not getting you that awful squirrel." But I knew Ned would. I knew he'd come through. I LOVE THAT SQUIRREL! He has a silver glitter acorn!!
Ned also got me a Nora Ephron collection AND a book on Princess Diana, because who knows me well? And the best part?
Ned put a ring on it. Okay, get off Drama Express again. I mean he bought me a ring, and it is so pretty. He knew I liked vintage rings, so he had to FIND a vintage store, and he went to one place called Vintage Jewelry and they had no vintage rings. Which is...confusing. And yes, I DO still have my balloons up from New Year's. Sue me.
He finally found a place ("Where'd you sneak all this activity IN?" I asked him) and found the ring above, then panicked because he realized he didn't know my ring size. So he waited and next time he was at my house, he hurriedly tried on a bunch of my rings. What if I'd have caught him? My boyfriend, the jewelry cross-dresser.
So then he knew how far down HIS finger all my rings fit, and he went back to the place and this ring fits perfectly. Ned told me he's never bought a ring for a woman before, so to me it's extra-special. Because clearly I bury all other women. And that's what matters, here.
Anyway, I am now late for work and would love to give you more details, but suffice it to say we had a good time. We went back to where we had our first date, and two heifers were in our original spot. Those bitches stayed there the whole time we were there, too. Oh, I was irked. They must have been 78 years old each, so cockpunching them was out of the question.
I think what Ned must like about me is how I'm a good person through and through.
Okay, I'm out. I just have time to smile at sparkly squirrel before I head to work.