Tonight after work, Ned and I are headed to the beach to spend Mother's Day with his mom, and I am certain you can picture my organized, already-done packing. So that means this morning I have to take the dogs to day care,
go to work all morning, leave at lunch to get a pedicure because things are Civil War bad down there (I totally have Scarlett's sister in the fields feet), and also an eyebrow wax because Wilford Brimley called and wants his GRAY EYEBROWS back. Yes, I found gray. Also after that I have to scream to the store and get root dye because there's snow on the mountain and smoke on the water. Oh, and I'm still out of deodorant.
Then after work I have to pack and we leave. God, that all sounds relaxing.
Perhaps you're wondering, in your lofty, organized way, Gee, June, why didn't you do any of this yesterday?
Well, I'll tell you.
The Other Copy Editor is leaving; she got a really cool job at a university and she gets flown to Ireland and I know, man. So she's gone two days a week now learning how to have a cool job (not that my job isn't cool. I like my job, actually) and when she's not there it gets what you might call busy. So I was working all day, and then I had lunch with Marvin yesterday.
He had an interview nearby yesterday (everyone please send jobby vibes to m'ex-husband. Keep me in alimony. BAH), plus also I found one of this photo albums the other day. It had all kinds of movies he worked on in it, and girls he used to bang, so I figured he'd be interested.
He also paid for lunch. We went to Chipotle, which we both kept calling Chip-po-tull and thinking we were highhhhlarious.
Then, I left work and drove directly to Winston-Salem, for a change, to see my friend Charlie, the one who had to go and get paralyzed in an accident two years ago. There is something about Charlie and me. Yesterday we discussed
sex with vegans,
his car that I am sort of interested in buying if I can sell mine for enough,
Freshen Up gum,
Then I had to go home.
My plan was to feed the dogs and kiss them on the head for awhile because there was little June action in it for them yesterday and they hate that. Then I was gonna head to Ned's to have a drink outside in his neighborhood. But on my way to Ned's I was on this busy street near me, and?
I saw a kitty. She was sitting near the busy road, and she was white, which is how I saw her. Just like how I first saw Tallulah six years ago when SHE was sitting near the road. And just like that day, I said, "Oh hellllll no" and turned around.
You guys. I think she'd be a beautiful cat if she weren't all skinny and matty and screaching her cat head off.
"MOWWWWWW!" she yelled at me. Right then I named her Blanche.
"Kittykittykittykittykitty!" I said to her. It went on like that for quite some time, and if you don't speak Cat you have no idea what I was saying, but it was deep. Eventually I called Ned. "I can't come over yet. I found a kitty."
"Do you need help?" What I like about Ned is he wasn't all, "Goddammit, June, with the animals," which you know is what he was thinking on his insides. There was really nothing he could do to help me.
Blanche let me pet her but wouldn't let me pick her up and get her in my car, which of course I was planning to do. Not to KEEP her, but to get her help. Eventually I went home, got food and water, and took it back to the wooded area that she is hanging out. With ALL MY TIME today, I will check on her later. Am worried sick about Blanche and plan to show her the kindness of strangers.
I got to Ned's last night all sweaty and drained. I was prettier when the decade began. "I don't feel like going out," I told him.
"You've had a big week," he said. "You had your student on Monday, you visited Charlie today, you tried to save a cat..."
"God, you're right. I'm a saint. Just be nice to me today."
And he was.
I will send you a sideways photo of us on the beach tomorrow. You are welcome.
P.S. I keep forgetting to show you this 18-second video that is dumb. Talu had been SCREAMING through the house like a nutbar, running in a circle through the dining room to the living room up on the couch and down and around the dining room again and you're going to have to trust me, because as SOON as I got the camera she stopped.