I'm running very late today. I was Ned-ing. Twice.
But I did not want to leave you wondering if you were in the running to possibly win BIG PRIZES today. Yesterday I asked you to guess if my hot young coworker Ryan lifted weights on Tuesday night, or drank a milkshake--the two riveting choices he presented his own self for the evening.
And? He did neither. WILDCARD! He went to a trivia night with his friends and ate food truck food. Which makes me feel a little relieved. It's less dull than what he was planning to do.
I also loved your comments when I asked you what books you should never write. Among my favorites were:
Other People's Kids, They're My Favorite!
How to Keep a Man (alive) (That was written by poor Cheech, whose loved one died. It killed me, so to speak.)
I Forgot to Eat Today
The Somber Woman: A Guide to Being Stoic and Serious at Funerals
I Welcome You to Walk Through My Yard and F*UCK With My Flowers
Sports Made Me Who I am Today
How to Snag a Guy Like Ryan When Your Body Looks Like Jabba the Hutt
Red Wine is Bad for You: A Cautionary Tale
Who Needs Caffeine? Not ME!
Learn To Turn That Frown Upside Down! The End Of Bitchy Resting Face
Brush Up Against Me -- I Love Crowds!
A fine job, everyone. I giggled at all of you.
Oh my GOD, I have to go to work, it's late late late. Before I go, you guys drifted off onto the topic of erotica, and Amish erotica, and wow what is wrong with all of you. But you did mention some girl-on-girl book, which you said was hot, and as you know I just finished Ned's dirty girl-on-girl book and it was hot, so here's my question for today:
How big of a les are you, do you think? I've never even kissed a girl, although once I told Marvin I slept with my friend Gertrude, just to get him riled up, and then later I said, "I was just making that up to get you riled up" and he absolutely refused to believe me. To this day, he thinks my friend Gertrude and I were scissoring or whatever, and we really never have.
But if Megan Fox wanted to make out with me, I'd be down with that. So I put myself at 15% gay. You?