Here's my floor that I no longer care about. See how it has streaks of brown in it? Does anyone have any suggestions? Ned said maybe I could sand it.
In the meantime, I set out a humane trap with more tuna in it, and the only person who tried to go in there was Iris. I got up this morning and ran out there in my slip that I'd been sleeping in, turning on the neighbors, and, nothing. No animal in there at all. I figured I'd at least capture a possum.
Dudes, where the hell is my cat?
In other less-depressing news, I had a dream the other night that I had superpowers. I called my high school boyfriend Cardinal the next day, because he played a large part in my dream. When he answered the phone, I told him the thing everyone loves to hear. "I had a dream about you last night."
Is there anything more excruciating and having to hear about someone's dream? Read on!
In my dream, my old boyfriend Cardinal was extremely threatened by my superpowers. He organized a large gang of men to gang rape me. I found it extremely rude.
After the gang rape was over, I stood up with my superpowered self. I had to be somewhere else, some kind of party, so I said, "Look beautiful" and boom. All the disheveled look that I had had from being gang raped, which really will mess up your look, was gone, and I looked fantastic.
Fortunately for you all, I remember what I was wearing. It was a form-fitting burgundy dress, and my hair was straight, and I had on burgundy lipstick. All eyes turned to me when I entered the room.
I told this fascinating dream to Cardinal, and he said, "Wait. Your superpower was that you could look good?"
I mean, yeah, I guess it was.
I think that's a fine superpower.
If that wasn't ridiculous enough, yesterday I schlepped out to the literacy center to get a new workbook for my student. It's a large GED prep book. I ate lunch downtown, and since I didn't have anything else to do, I perused the GED prep book. I looked in the social studies section and was alarmed to find out that North Carolina is one of the original 13 colonies.
You coulda knocked me over with a feather. I had no idea. I probably should have kept this thought to myself. I went back to work and emailed Ned.
"You mean the part where our main road here in town is called 'Battleground' didn't tip you off?" He asked. "You mean the part where our city is named after a Revolutionary war hero didn't give you a clue?"
God. Some people are so smug. Couldn't they have fought in the Revolutionary war and not been one of the original 13 colonies? Couldn't they have scooped up some new colonies before that war?
I guess not.
Anyway, I'm off to work being a person who has one cat. This is awful. I almost have a reasonable amount of pets at this point.
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