I had a dream that Ned and I offed Julia Roberts last night, but mostly that is because we saw the movie Rope in that old theater we like. But also because Julia Roberts.
Dear FBI: I do not wish to actually murder anybody, even annoying Julia Roberts. Please do not come arrest me. Or Ned.
In un-Rope-related news, I got out my camera just now to show you that my Q-Tips--or whatever off brand I bought, my R-Tips--has a bizarre photo on it.
Q-Tips are excellent for poking at your baby annoyingly. I like places that still tell you that you need to type "www." Modern. Is that person in the next photo going to clean the whole tub with a Q-Tip? Is she undergoing some sort of initiation? I like how Q-Tips are always prominently in the foreground.
So far I've pissed off Q-Tips and Julia Roberts' people.
Anyway, so busy was I with that baby-Q-Tip-poking photograph, and then Talu came in and it occurred to me if you look in your mind for the word "dog," is she not pretty much the picture you conjure? She is just such a dog.
So, that's my deep thought for today. For sure. Have you met my thoughts?
Speaking of which, yesterday I had to work like a demon, still, all day, and then I had to scream home after work and pay all my bills because hello, 15th. After that I put on a barrel and wrote my Purple Clover column for next week. Then I slapped on some makeup and headed to the theater.
Geez Louise. Relaxing.
Rope is a good Hitchcock movie, though, and we ran into Poochie and her husband, so after we all went to a pub and split fries with malt vinegar, sweet potato chips and hummus with pita bread. Speaking of hummus, this past weekend I got a desperate text from my pal Hulk, who as you recall was such an adventurous eater when I took him to an Indian wedding (he thought the hummus was literally made from some chick's pee).
At a party and they're serving Brie and hummus. You might as well just go buy stock in Taco Bell right now.
What I like about Hulk is how for him, Brie and hummus are what monkey brains would be for you and me. What IS this foreign, weird dish?
However, Taco Bell sounds delicious right now.
Okay, I have to go, and as you can see my thoughts are quite linear and organized today. Am certain I will be indispensable at work. It seems like there were other crucial things I was going to tell you, but of course they've fallen through the cracks.