Last night, we went to see King Kong, and not any stupid King Kong with Naomi Watts or even Jessica Lange. The original one, with that subtle actress Fay Wray.
Please note the part where she's practically nekkid in that dress. This is one of Ned's all-time favorite movies. For weeks, Ned has been counting the days till King Kong. When he woke me up yesterday, the first thing he said was, "TODAY IS KING KONG." I think it had more to do with a huge monkey than poor June-haired Fay Wray.
They played an overture before the movie began. Why did they have overtures in old movies? It's just a still screen, with the word OVERTURE across it, in case you didn't know what was going on.
"Overture, curtain, lights," I said to Ned.
And because I really hate driving my point home, I added, "This is it, the night of nights. And oh what heights we'll hit." This developed into a whole discussion on Was Bugs Bunny gay, because that was one gay number he did with his cane, there, and we don't even have to CONSIDER Daffy's sexuality. Sure, sometimes Bugs Bunny would like a sexy girl bunny, but have you never heard of a beard? It'd explain my lifelong love of Bugs Bunny. I have been a fruit fly since day one.
The overture (curtain, lights) involved extremely dramatic music. "Alex should play this in the background when she tells her story," I said, falling in love with myself all over again, as if I hadn't already with my overture, curtains, lights line.
One of the Alexes at work had something really dramatic happen to her, which I cannot tell you about because she is writing about it for an article and I can't ruin the whole thing that way. "Oh, that story. Yeah. June already told us that story." But the point is, by the time I got to her after her Dramatic Events, she had that story honed, man. She even had dramatic pauses and flare-y nostrils at certain important points. I am not saying I wouldn't have done the same thing.
The thought of Alex telling her already-harrowing story with the above music sent me into giggles, and then the damn movie started. Ned could hardly contain himself. He's seen it a hundred times, but never on a real movie screen.
Culturally sensitive? Wow. Those idiot white men just stampeded onto poor King Kong's island, shot everything that moved, including, oh, dinosaurs, and captured King Kong. There was this beleaguered young woman of color that the whole island was about to marry ("marry." pfft) off to King Kong, but once they got a load of old Fay Wray and her June hair, they tossed that poor teenaged girl aside and slapped her on some poles for Kong. "That young girl is off somewhere saying, 'Man did I dodge a bullet,'" I said to Ned.
When the natives told the stupid white men that they were fixing to "marry" that poor teenager off to King Kong, the main idiot white guy said, "Great!" Not "This is appalling!" But "Great!"
I mean, poor King Kong was just living his life, maybe date raping the occasional village girl here and there, but other that that. He had a swinging bachelor pad with a balcony ("That's probably the best apartment in the whole island," said Ned) and possibly a snake infestation he might want to look into. I felt bad for poor Kong.
I mean, those white men were dicks. "We'll capture him and make a million bucks!" They deserve everything that happened to them. Entitled assholes.
My favorite part was back in New York, when poor PTSD Fay Wray watches King Kong escape, so she screams up to her apartment, where she tells her emotionally stunted boyfriend she worries that somehow King Kong will still get her, and this happens.
I mean, that is so something that would happen to me. That's a pretty nice place for someone who a few months back had been stealing apples to survive. Sure, it's just a studio, but this is New York, man. Is that a piano over there? Dang. Work it, Fay.
Wait. Is that a hotel room? HOW THE SAM HILL DID KING KONG FIND HER HOTEL? Come on. I can see looking her up in the phone book and getting to her apartment, but did he have a Find Fay app or something?
And I think maybe King Kong could dial it down a tad with the wide eyes and Edsel underbite every second of the day.
Afterward, Ned and I went to a French restaurant and had bruschetta. Tonight, we have A Hard Day's Night. The movie, you perv.
'Twas beauty that killed the blog.