A rundown of my evening with no Ned in it...
7 a.m. till 5 p.m.
I was so looking forward to having the house to myself for one night, just to come home and sit quietly and do nothing. Ned's a big do-things guy, and to tell you the truth, I am not that into doing things ALL THE DING-DANG TIME. Like, last Friday, I just wanted to read my book. "Are you just gonna read your book?" asked Ned, like I'd suggested I might medically induce myself into a coma or something.
And Ned is a big reader, but he puts that off till, like, 11:45 p.m. when he's run out of all other things to do.
That's one of the questions you should ask someone at the beginning of a relationship, before you're sucked in by the feelings. How are you at just coming home and reading from, say, 5:00 till bedtime? Cause I'm great with it.
So Ned left yesterday morning, and I wished him well and all that, and then I set about making plans to do nothing all night.
And that is how I ended up doing salsa in the park with two of my coworkers. And it was MY stupid idea!
"Oooo! Tonight's Fitness by the Fountain is salsa! Who's in?" I'm afraid I may have done a sad white-girl salsa dance for everyone.
Out of 49594434 coworkers, two fell for my dance of whiteness, so I came home and got into my sexy workout clothes to meet them downtown, and I TOTALLY FORGOT that you guys got me Amazon gift cards for my birthday, and oh my god, nice, thank you, and I have to buy some better workout clothes.
Here I am, ready to put the sauce in your salsa. As I was getting ready, Ned called. "Isn't it a little hot for salsa by the fountain?"
As soon as I got to the park, there were Fleeta and Flauta, waiting for me. Y'all already know Fleeta, there, on the left, but that's my new coworker who couldn't come up with a blog name, so I told her I'd give her one. I know that I do not know any ugly people. Am aware.
Here was our salsa teacher, god love him. The rhythm is gonna get you, tonight. Once Ned and I somehow got into a discussion about which would be worse, if the rhythm got you, or colon cancer. Don't even ask.
During the class, when we were supposed to be learning salsa and gettin' all coordinated, Fleeta noted a young man of color running shirtless past us, a young man teeming with the muscles. That were sweaty. I can't remember anything else for like an hour after that.
I came home and made myself a turkey burger, and I realize there's no turkey in this picture. I was waiting for it. Once an old boyfriend of mine painted a mural of his whole family at their lake cabin. It was a huge painting of them enjoying everything in the yard and on the lake and so on. He somehow forgot to add his mom to the mural. "Where am I?" she was crestfallen.
"You're inside the cabin," he told her.
The turkey's inside the cabin.
8 p.m. till 9:30 p.m.
After that, I did some freelance work. I'm doing more statistics textbook proofreading. I know! You envy my adventures such as proofreading statistics. What can I tell you? I'm greedy. Since I moved in with Ned, I've paid off my car and one huge, annoying super-interest-y credit card, and I'm less than a month from paying off another. I keep doing extra work to pay everything off as soon as I can. Ned's doing the same thing, and then I get a new nose.
That's my goal. Saving up for a new nose.
I finished my work, which I hadn't planned to do. When I freelance, I make myself a little schedule of so many pages per day, but with Ned gone I just got it done. Will mail it off and invoice the crap outta that place and RICHES WILL BE MINE.
That meant I had plenty of time in my pressing evening to peruse BuzzFeed. I found this stupid page that was titled, like, 27 Things That'll Make You Laugh or something (do NOT ask me to find it again), and usually those don't actually make me laugh because I was born in 1965 and not 1995, but this time I was standing there beside myself over the whole thing.
Like, these stupid things from the news...
Those were funny enough, but then I got to this image of the poor girl who accidentally attached a picture of Nicholas Cage instead of her resume.
I mean, it wasn't just ANY picture of Nicholas Cage, either. At this point I was starting to do that hysterical laughing, where the dogs come in and wonder if you're new.
Oh my god. He liked it so he put a ring on it! I was peeing on my own self, and the dogs were calling the authorities, and that's when my phone rang. It was Ned again.
"Are you okay? You sound a little...stuffed up." I tried to explain about BuzzFeed, but mostly Ned is over me. Who is probably tickled to be in a hotel without my ass for a night?
After we hung up, I was gathering my things to go to bed when I heard the wind. Faithful Reader Happy gave me the most beautiful pale-blue windchimes for my birthday, and they were out there doing the tinkle thing, only like, you know, they meant it. If my windchimes had heads, they'd have been bobbing them. Maybe saying, "Mmmm-HMMMM."
Edsel and I went outside and there was a huge storm on its way. The sky kept lightningning constantly, and that is totally a word. It wasn't raining yet, but it was fixing to. Eds stood next to me on the back porch, proud and loyal. Then right when the first drops hit, he screamed out to the yard, got Blu, and came back next to me.
I guess he wanted to make sure he didn't leave Blu out in the rain, like that cake.
There was loud thunder for a long time, and tough Pit Tallulah came and very casually draped herself under my chair the whole time.
So that was my Nedless night, and tonight we go to a baseball game, because Doing Things. Sigh.
Your caliente pal,