I know once I announce this, you'll all be gathered around your radios for further developments for the rest of today:
I'm getting a cold.
Try to carry on as best you can.
It's so irritating. I eat right. Why the cold? And tonight's The Princess Bride at the old movie theater I like so much. I've been looking forward to this for weeks. I'm still going; nothing but death can keep me from it. But there's, like, a 50/50 chance of death happening now.
How much do you enjoy my colds? How much do you wish I'd be dramatic about it? You know me. I try to be low key.
I read something on Facebook yesterday, one of those articles someone puts up. Now, keep in mind, had it been one of those articles that kept insisting you click on an arrow for more, after they said half a sentence, I WOULD NOT HAVE READ.
Have I told you about my new grassroots effort? Any of those effing click-bait stories you come across, where they constantly want you to hit an arrow for more after you've read only ONE SENTENCE? I get off the story. I leave. I leave in a huff, which an old boyfriend described as my "favorite mode of transportation." Whatever with that guy.
But I do! Those companies can see how far along you read, you know, and if they keep seeing, Oh, she got on our page, saw it was a "one-sentence-then-click-the-arrow-for-another-sentence" story and left, they'll STOP MAKING STUPID CLICKY-ARROW ARTICLES LIKE THAT. We all must do it. We all must join in this important fight. I am the Sally Struthers of click-bait protest.
Anyway, the story I read was what traits make you likable. Naturally I wanted to know, because everyone abhors me, generally. In fact, just today I see that someone unfriended me on Facebook. Rooooood. Why the unfriend? I eat right. What'd I do? Really, probably any number of things.
One of the top traits that make you likable is the ability to listen. Man, is that ever true. I notice this especially with my young coworkers (I'm sorry, y'all, I do). I'll listen to a whole diatribe about their lives, and as soon as I start to talk, their eyes wander, they look at their phones, whatever. Bad listening skills. Or maybe I'm boring. Sometimes I even stop and say, "Should I just stop talking now, or what?"
This must be generational, because I know for a fact I've done that to Ryan, who is 26, and he gets all offended. "GEEZ, no, I'm listening. God, June." I think they just assume it's okay to scroll your phone while talking.
Actually, that's another trait on the likable list. People who don't look at a phone while conversing with you.
But the one that really got me is, likable people don't call attention to themselves.
Yeah. So. I'm abhorrent. What're you gonna do?
God, I feel awful, says June, trying to get attention for her cold. I'm, all achy, and my nose and throat and ears feel all rotten. Cold suck ass. Epiphanies, by June.
Edsel has an underbite. Epiphanies, by June.
My cold will last about a week. Epiphanies by--oh, you get my drift.
If I can muddle through today without heading to the light, I will talk at you tomorrow.