I feel like I have 109 things to tell you, which probably strikes fear into your heart. If you had one. You cold wench.
First of all, Edsel barfed last night, I heard it while I was sleeping, which is always relaxing, and now I can't find where. Which is similarly relaxing.
You can see Tallulah is on the edge of her seat about it. Talu seems perkier, and on Saturday morning she peed an actual amount, like normal dogs! I hope that's a sign that she's fine. It's almost cruel to see signs she's fine, because then I get on the, "See? She's FINE!" train, and get all hopeful, and what if my signs are wrong?
Also, Iris is back to her old, pre-mom-poisoning-her self, which is a relief.
Here she is bogarting my yoga mat yesterday.
Which leads me to my next topic, and that is that I am trying to lose weight. All of a sudden I'm Mama Cass, over here, and you all know how I eat right. So I went to the grocery store and got all healthy things, and whenever I get on one of my "go to the store and get all healthy things" obsessions, I am always astonished at how much cheaper my groceries are. Whole-wheat mini pitas and grapes are so much cheaper than fish sticks and pizza rolls.
So mostly this weekend I did a lot of that hose beast Tracy Anderson, with her blank expressions, and wished I could eat again. Oh, and I started binge-watching Transparent. Are you watching this show? Am obsessed. Between that and Girlfriend's Guide to Divorce, which I also watch, I'm seeing a lot of people flitting around Los Angeles like it's possible. Oh, I live in the Palisades and you live in Silverlake. Let's meet for coffee before we go to work. Yeah. Okay. If we meet at 4 a.m. and still have an hour to spend driving. Gimme a break.
We don't spend enough time thinking about Nell Carter. That's some dress. It's from the Hollie Eating is My Hobby collection.
I'm going to hell. And I'm one to talk, what with my latest high weight. And I ate a lot of flax fucking cereal this weekend, and burgers made from vegetables--you know what word I'm trying not to say--but then my friend Charlie had a party yesterday and hello, pizza and Pepsi. Because apparently I'm 10.
Here's me and m'girth with Charlie's girlfriend Vanessa, whom I love. Lovelovelove. We had a discussion with a straight guy and a gay guy at that party, about which movie star we'd switch over for. The gay guy said Emma Stone. Then I said Emma Stone. Vanessa said Cate Blanchett. She's too classy for me. She'd want high-thread-count sheets and brunch after.
The straight guy said Daniel Day Lewis, I think. Or maybe he just liked DDL. I can't recall now. It was someone I'd never sleep with as a straight woman.
I also had a discussion with a woman there who pointed out how fucked up it is that Lucy is the one who holds the football for Charlie Brown and screws him up by pulling it away, and then she's the one who charges him 5¢ for psychiatric advice. She's the one who screws him up, and then she tries to make him well? I'd never considered that before.
Oh, and I fell in love at that party.
After the party, I got up with my friend Vogue June. She was a model in the '70s and '80s, and has been on the cover of Vogue and so on. Naturally, we had a lot to talk about re that. Like the time we were both up for the cover of Heifer Magazine and I won out. Anyway, I told her I'd like to try a new restaurant in Winston, as I am forever eating at the same four places, and the place she picked was right next door to Charlie's, which she did not know, but which was pretty convenient for me, anyway. Which is what matters. "Yes, this house is lovely, but is it convenient for June?" "We probably should consider having children, but how will it affect June?"
And finally, for once, I am remembering to direct you to Purple Clover this week. Ima start writing for them every other week now, rather than killing myself every week to think of an idea, so I won't write one tonight and you don't have to be all snippy with me next week when I don't link you to anything.
I see that today's Needy Committee meeting has commenced, so I better clear the room.
The rhythm is gonna get you.