This came up on my Facebook feed the other day...
Thanks. That's comforting. It doesn't bug me at all that there's an extra space before "handles." I really believe the man of color in the chef's hat is a real photo and not stock. And what about the little twink at the bottom of the page? Yeah. Break him off a piece of some curvy woman. And can he borrow her blush while she's up?
Anyway, that's not why I'm here. I'm here to complain. I KNOW! Let me lift m'girth and settle in.
You may not know this, but I get migraines. I hate to complain about them. Anyway, the other night one was creepin' 'round my back stairs, so I took an Imitrex and discovered I was taking my last one. They give you nine in a pack, and why? Any NORMAL person would scream through nine in a few weeks.
Marvin used to say that to me all the time. "Any NORMAL person would want to have sex by now." Oh, wow. Now I'm hot. Lemme lift m'girth.
So I did what I always do and I called Target pharmacy. We're back to my migraines now. Keep up.
"Oooo, looks like you're out of refills," Anais said. I swear to god there's a tech there named Anais, and when I asked her if she'd read any Anais Nin, she hadn't. I really hate things like that. How can you be named after someone and not check out who you're named after?
The way they give me Imitrx is in a baggie, I have no idea why, and all the pertinent info is on the baggie. So you can carry an annoying baggie in your purse all month, and even if you do that all the pertinent info wears off, or you can toss the baggie and just carry the box in your purse and find out when you're out of refills the way I just had.
"Okay," I said. I know the drill. They call my doctor, he refills me for another year, and in the meantime, if I'm totally out, they'll give me a pill--one pill--to tide me over just in case. They aren't addictive, they don't make you high. They just get rid of a migraine, which lemme tell you, is a good idea.
"Oh, we can't give you a pill without a prescription."
"What? You've given me a pill for years." I've been going there for 8 years now. But they used to have a pharmacist with a cool name, and if he was doing something wrong I don't want to give his name because what he did was merciful, and anyway they have this new blonde young jerk of a woman in there now.
"Could I speak to the pharmacist, please?" I asked intellectually uncurious Anais.
The blonde chippy got to the phone. "Oh, no, we don't loan out pills unless they're everyday pills like blood pressure medication," she said.
"Look, I had a migraine yesterday, and it's going to storm today. I know that there's a huge likelihood I'll get a migraine. If you don't give me this pill, I'll have to sit in the emergency room tonight."
Bitch would not budge. I sincerely wish the world's largest, most awful migraine on her, a migraine where there is not one pill to be found.
"The only thing I can recommend is you call your doctor," she breezed indifferently.
And this is why I hate my doctor's office. "You have reached the nurse assistant for June's doctor. The doctor is not in on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday afternoons." I am not making that up. I AM NOT MAKING THAT UP. You'll be stunned to hear I have a backup doctor there, since mine is never fucking in. I pressed 4 to get her.
"You have reached the nurse assistant for June's backup doctor, the one who should really do something about her hair. The doctor is not in on Wednesday afternoons."
It was Wednesday afternoon.
I was gonna GET a migraine just trying to get migraine meds.
Anyway, I ended up not getting a migraine, and the next day I got my prescription filled at a new pharmacy. This was a good idea anyway, because Ned goes to the Target pharmacy and now there's one less place I have to worry about a Ned sighting®.
Anyway, that's the latest thing to IRK ME oh my god IRK MEEEEE, and I guess that's all I have to say about that.
I keep forgetting to put in this picture of Ryan, at my old desk, for all you cougars. I wonder how he feels about curvy women?