My mood is sparkling. Did I mention that?
My computer has been a DICK all weekend, and I hate everything right now. This is my third attempt at writing something, and we'll see if it even sticks. Did I mention I hate fucking everything? Did I mention how much I was on the phone with Apple Care this weekend? I don't even LIKE apples.
So, I'm writing this Sunday night and setting it to publish on Monday morning, and I know that THROWS some of you off, so I'm just gonna warn you right now that for the next three weeks I'm doing an Oprah/Deepak meditation, so all my posts for the next 21 days will be written the night before and set to post the next morning.
If this gives you the angina, my suggestion is that you probably need the Oprah/Deepak meditation.
On Friday night, I went to a surprise party for one of my friends, who was turning 40, and there was a child there with shoes that (a) look like pink cats and (2) smell like strawberries, and if I could find such a shoe for me, I would never be sad again not even when my computer's a DICK that SPOOLS all day fuck computers.
On Saturday afternoon I had a lunch date with A Younger Man, and coo coo kachoo, Mrs. Robinson. Clearly I was asked out because my personality is lovely, and my mood is sparkling all the time. I had lamb stew, Clarice. He got fish and chips. It was kind of nice to be out with someone who eats fried food, but then again he's 14, so.
Here's me on the way to the date; this was not my date. If I went on a date with someone who looked like me it'd be weird and also I'd be a lesbian. I wonder if I went out with myself if I'd get annoyed. I wonder if the date version of me also had fucking fucking computer fucking problems all weekend.
After lunch, I took him to the local bookstore, and also to my friend Kit's vintage store where we perused old Playboys and saw Uma Thurman's breasts, which right there made it a good time. How many men can say they went on a date and saw Uma Thurman's breasts? Ethan Hawke and this guy. That's who. Then it got late and his mom was totally gonna ground him if he missed curfew, so my date went home. He already asked me out for next weekend, because Still Got It.
Also, because Sparkling Personality.
I decided to stop at the coffee shop after, and ran into one of the Alexes from work.
This is also not a picture of my date, see above ref to not generally a lesbian. This is the Alex from work. She doesn't work at my work anymore, so we had a lot to discuss about our lives and so on. She reads my blog, so really everything I told her was old news and there's really no point in me talking to anyone about anything anymore.
Mostly, the rest of the weekend I hung out here and felt hungry. I've been on Weight Watchers for a week now, and lost two measly pounds even though all I am is HUNGRY ALL THE TIME and MOOD IS SPARKLING. I made popcorn and shared it with the dogs, as I am wont to do.
The dogs probably burned off more points catching the popcorn than they did eating the popcorn. See what happens? You get on Weight Watchers and your whole world becomes points. Points of sparkling mood. Those spots on the floor are permanent. The ones by the sink are a burn of some sort and the ones by the other room are from when I tried to coat that room with the damn concrete floor that's peeled again.
Well, evening is upon me, and I think I'll retire to the couch and open a wrist. But I'll talk to you tomorrow, which for you means Tuesday and for me means Monday. Which skeeves you out and now you have hives. How do you think I feel? That brownie I had at the coffee shop was 15 points.
Less of June