What I did yesterday was schlep all the damn-ass way out to the country to look at puppies. As you do.
Like, seriously, a long damn-ass drive into the country. But when I finally got there, it was like, Did I die on the way here? Because the woman I met up with has four big puppies she brought home after they were gonna be out in freezing temperatures at her neighbor's house, and then eight TEENSY puppies who she's fostering for the pit bull foundation, and they all greeted me when I walked up.
I did not at all fall deeply in love with that brown one, who's only 6 months old and LOOK at him already.
Just telling you, he's available. He's so soft! And he's never even SEEN a cat, which is why I don't dare.
Here is a not-at-all creepy picture of the puppy I ended up choosing. I didn't notice she had this trouble when I met her, but there's nothing wrong with being Picasso puppy.
So, unfortunately I had to sit there with puppies all afternoon, deciding which one was for me. Three of the eight were spoken for already, technically, although one was being kept by the foster and she said if I really wanted him that'd be fine, too. So six. I had only six to choose from.
For awhile, I was considering this guy, and then I asked, What's he like? "Oh that one? He's an ornery one, all right. Always the first to climb up and discover things."
You know what I don't need?
The whole time, this one was super calm. She just watched everyone, and slept, and strolled to the water bowl. "That's the calmest one, there," the foster woman told me. "Oh, she'll play. But she's just as happy to go back to sleep."
See. That is what I need. I mean, what I need is to not get any puppies at all, but why don't you do me a favor and shut up?
I dragged her out from her sleeping position and held her up.
She gave me the most sidelong, indifferent stare, kind of like every look Tallulah ever gave me.
And right then I knew.
"Why are you always attracted to things that don't want anything to do with you?" my mother asked.
I abstained from mentioning my childhood. Look, I'm a cat person. I like cat dogs. Okay? Lu was a cat dog.
Anyway, she kills me. This dog does.
So, on Thursday she gets "spaded," as the foster woman kept saying, and then SHE thinks the puppy needs another week to recover, but the foundation says I can get her the next day. So I'll let them duke it out, but you know what I hope. YOU KNOW.
So now, what to name her. I put a survey on Facebook, because I COULD NOT, for the LIFE of me, figure out how to put one here. Survey Monkey says "Copy and paste into your HTML." Oh, my HTML. Thanks. And there's a tab here while I compose CALLED HTML, and I pasted into that, and when I came back here it didn't show up at all. So.
The point is this...I got 188 votes on Facebook, with Lola being the overwhelming choice. I may go with Lolita instead of Lola, or I may go another route altogether.
Blanche was the second-place choice, followed by Zelda, Petunia, Rosa Barks, Zinnia and Jezebel, respectively.
I don't know what you people have against "Zezebel" being a name.
What about Hattie? I also like Hattie. Or Flossie, which means flowers, so I'd be in my flower theme.
I'd better go to work. I have a doctor's appointment today because migraines still coming. Coming round the bend. And I ain't seen the sunshine since I don't know when.