I posted last night--I gave some aptitude tests to Lottie that I shared on film. Yes, you really ARE welcome. Scroll down to see.
But I gathered you all here today to hear about my severe eye injury. I was walking with my coworker Austin yesterday, through the park. Usually a big group of us walks but everyone was too busy or they thought it was too hot. Ninety-seven is a lovely temp for a stroll.
Anyway, we were almost done when
a bug flew right into my eye. Right into it!
"Ow!" I said. And then I smelled that smell Stink Bugs emit.
And right then I knew. A fucking STINK BUG had flown into my eye. And emitted its...juice or whatever right into my socket.
"Goddammit," I said.
It seemed like an inconvenient truth, but that it'd be no big deal, no bug deal, but it turns out stupid Stink Bug juice REALLY EFFING HURTS when it's sprayed into your EYE, and all of a sudden I was Juice Newton, over there, with the burning and the watering and the pain, oh the pain.
Naturally I took this opportunity to tell just everyone at work, because when bad things happen to marginally good people, it's cause for sympathy-eliciting.
The point is, I was back at my desk, trying to see out my eye, when my coworker Fewks came over.
"Hey!" he said. "You givin' me the stink-eye?"
And that is right about when I stopped liking Fewks.
Anyway, today it hurts to the touch and it's slightly purple, but I think I will, you know, keep the eye. You know I hate to make a big deal out of things. I'd hate to bug you.
Doin' the stanky leg,