Yesterday was a stupid day that resulted in Ned breaking into my house and me working till 8:30.
I had a meeting at noon, except I'd gotten the invitation to the meeting one night after midnight and it woke me up with the trill of a meeting to accept or decline. I got three notices that night, and there's a meeting also today with almost the same name, so I thought the one yesterday had been rescheduled, which happens all the time. So I declined yesterday's and accepted today's.
Both were at lunchtime. I have my time blocked from noon till one so I can come let out Lottie, but apparently that is irrelevant. So yesterday, because I didn't KNOW I had that meeting till 15 minutes before said meeting, I panicked. I'd had to go in early as it was, so poor Lottie would have already been in that crate for four hours by 12:20. I wasn't gonna get home till after 1:00.
Oh, just the thought of her poor self in there, feeling uncomfortable, it made me want to cry. I texted Ned.
"Do you still have a key to my house?" He wasn't sure. But he said he'd leave work and go break in if he had to. He's the president of his company, so with all this SPARE TIME, he went over there.
"Turns out I did have a key!" He sent me a photo of Lottie in the yard.
But then at the end of the day, I got a whole bunch of work that had to be done before noon today, and someone else has to LOOK at all of the work first and inevitably make changes, so I really had to get it done last night. It was Bitchy Resting Face Alex's going away party yesterday, and I so wanted to go. She was my favorite person at work, and now she's gone.
I took my laptop home and worked while bored, hadn't-been-walked, devil-in-Miss-Jones Lottie attempted to eat:
- The vintage Real Romance magazines Faithful Reader Paula just sent me
- My Laura Ingalls Wilder autobiography, Pioneer Girl
- My gold wedge heel
- My reading glasses
- A pair of scissors. This she ran off with and I had to chase her. She literally ran with scissors.
Finally I got to walk her, just as the sun was setting. When we went outside, my neighborhood was berserk. Everyone in the world was out there with their phones, playing that damn Pokemon computer game. Could I sound more like your Grandma Millie right now?
"BUWF!" said Lottie, at the Snowflake children, who I am sorry to tell you are all teenagers and pre-teens now. No, I did NOT have my phone, Miss Why Isn't Every One of Your Moments a Photograph, June?
"Hi!" I said, excited to see them.
"BOOF!" Lottie said again. She really didn't sound friendly. They looked at this teensy devil of a puppy, appalled. They went back to their phones and Peek-a-Choo or whatever he's called. Pink Atchu. Pee Catch You.
I hate modern culture.
Ima have to train that out of her, though, the angry boof at children. Iron fish of discipline. I did it again. Iron fish. Goddammit.
Let's look at pictures. I have a ton on my desktop and need to get them off, so to speak. I'M NOT IN THE MOOD TO GET THEM OFF.
It turns out, Blu is dishwasher safe. It turns out, when you want your phone to focus on Blu, it instead focuses on your yellow towel. Turns out, my phone is a dick.
I really like the lavender-haired girl at work. She's young but composed. I am neither.
The cat condo came. Alliterative. It's from the Mrs. Robinson collection.
Someone just asked me on here the other day where Lily was, and whenever you guys ask where one of the pets is, I always assume that you think I just drove him or her to a field and dropped him or her off and have failed to mention it. Say "him or her" one more time. Anyway, one thing that's easy to capture is a cat in that window. They both kept moving around. This was the best I could do, but here's proof I haven't offed her yet.
She'd hardly be at the top of my Field List, anyway. I think you know what I mean.
I just looked over and there she was in that pose. Perfect.
Here they were last night, sitting side by side chewing their toys in unison. You'll never guess what Edsel had. Hint: It's dishwasher-safe.
My birthday presents are rolling in. This perfect towel is from The Poet. I want to have it framed. Also, Faithful Reader LisaPie, did you send me the gramma print bath mat I asked for on my wish list? I think you did, and thank you!!!
If someone else sent me that, write in and bitch me out.
Oh, and PJ, I got your tip as well! Not your actual penis. You know what I mean. THANK YOU TO YOU TOO!!!
Speaking of which, tonight is my online birthday party and you are invited. It wasn't my idea. Not that I'm above celebrating the splendor of me. But you have to be a member of Pie on the Face on Facebook. So go join. Then apparently all day, there will be a big party, and I am joining at 8 p.m. eastern time.
At work yesterday, I was all, "I can't work late tomorrow because I have an online birthday party."
June. Making sense since 1965.
I opened my gifts from my Aunt Mary already, because Ima be gone on my real birthday, and she sent me a bunch of photos and correspondence from my grandmother, I saw photos of me I've never seen before. Here I am in the '90s, getting a toilet bowl cleaner for Christmas. I can just hear me saying, "You know what I really need...?"
Look how cute I was. Time is cruel.
Oh my god! Faithful Reader LaUral! I just got the Sephora gift card!!!! SQUEEEEEE! Thank you!
I heart my birthday.
I'll talk at you later. Tomorrow morning early I have to take Edsel and Lottie in for their shots. If Edsel and Lottie ordered shots, what would they each get?
The point is, I may have to blog at noon or something. Also, after their shots, they both go to dog daycare for the day, so I'll at least check in with the web address so you can see them. Here it is in advance. Go to webcams and look in the front room. I'll link to it directly tomorrow--I wanted you to see Tallulah on the home page, though.
THE FIRST PERSON TO THINK YOU CAN SEE THEM TODAY GETS A TOILET SCRUBBER UP HER ASS.
I is kind, I is important, I is a bitch.