On Friday night, Ned and I went to this food truck rodeo, which I've already mentioned and clearly it was the highlight of my life. In the parking lot adjacent to the old movie theater we like, they had, oh, 10 food trucks, each featuring different sold-out fare. Ned and I never get anywhere early.
You had to walk through the lobby of the theater and go out the side door to get to the food trucks, and then if you wanted, you could eat in the theater. They were showing different concerts on the screen.
Ned and I went out to the food trucks and waited 107 minutes in line, saw several of my coworkers including an Alex, I got bitten by a bug and had to soak my finger in ice, and finally, FINALLY, we got some food and headed back into the air-conditioned movie theater.
They were playing Paul McCartney's Back in the US DVD. That's the DVD my Aunt Kathy is in!
"Oh my god, this is the DVD my Aunt Kathy is in!" I said, which you already knew, and hey, did I mention I went to a food truck rodeo? And by the way, if you've just watched this for the first time and you got moved by Aunt Kathy's "I'm gonna cry," if you were related to her you'd realize that was an on-the-hour occurence, like Old Faithful.
"It IS her DVD, isn't it?" said Ned, who I have made watch that thing at least twice.
"I HAVE TO SEE AUNT KATHY ON THE BIG SCREEN!!! OHMYGOD HOW COOL IS THIS GONNA BE??!!" I screeched.
"Oh, absolutely," said Ned. "Aunt Kathy! I'll get us drinks." The concession stand at the movies was open, and they were serving wine and beer and water and so on. I sat in the theater, beside myself, which is rude because I took up two chairs.
"Was she on yet?" Ned returned with drinks. "I told the lady at the concession stand. Aunt Kathy!"
I called my Aunt Kathy to tell her I was watching the DVD and waiting for her big appearance. "I'm already in bed, but this is so exciting!" said my aunt. It was 7:30. I come from a family of early-to-bed-ers. If you call anyone I'm related to after 8:00, it's a crapshoot. They could be in REM for 45 minutes by 8:00.
Aunt Kathy told me which song she appeared after ("Blackbird, I think") and we settled in. "If you start going to bed before 8:00, you should know I will leave and find hootchie-gootchie girls," said Ned, who is never going to get laid if he starts saying grandpa things like "hootchie-gootchie girls."
"I can't WAIT to see this," I told Ned, crunching my food truck nachos. Did I mention we attended a food truck rodeo? "I KNOW! This'll be so cool!" said Ned, who'd ordered, like, fish and lettuce or something equally depressing. "AUNT KATHY!" we both yelled.
So we sat. And we sat. And we watched Paul McCartney. He sang songs from his then-new album (zzzzzzz); he sang Something; he sang The Long and Winding Road, which Ned loved; he sang a song for John Lennon (zzzzzz). Eventually, Ned and I started talking.
"We just drove that guy off," said Ned, who pointed out an older man who'd moved to the next section. "Oh fuck him," I said. "We're excited about Aunt Kathy."
"AUNT KATHY!" said Ned.
"I'll get us more drinks."
At the concession stand, I told the woman who sold us our drinks about Aunt Kathy. "Someone else just told me about that," she said. "Oh, that was my manfriend. He's met Aunt Kathy. She told him about her poop."
"That is so cool, about her being in the DVD, I mean."
"Yeah, not about her poop."
"No, not that. That'll be eleven dollars, please."
The point of my story is that Ned and I sat in that theater for hours. Okay, maybe AN hour. Still. It was awhile before either one of us noted they weren't showing any people talking about Paul McCartney before his songs. My DVD, which I think my mother sent me and which is autographed by Aunt Kathy ("All My Lovin', Aunt Kathy"), shows people talking up Sir Paul just right and left.
"I wonder if...maybe this is a different version of that concert," I said, as Ned and I turned to bats, we'd been in the dark for so long.
"Yeah, maybe there IS no Aunt Kathy," he said. "Goddammit."
"Goddammit." I agreed.
So we walked out, knowing we'd given it the Aunt Kathy college try, anyway.
That night, before we went to sleep, way past 8:00, I whispered, "Aunt Kathy!"
"Aunt Kathy!" said Ned. Then we slept.