Here's me last night, at my friend Kaye's house, finally. At around 9:00, she texted me. She text me. "Did you get into my house okay?" And I was all, Bitch, I'm not home yet! It's Friday night, dude! Partayyyy! Wooot! Celebrate good times, come on! The roof! The roof! The roof is on fire.
I like all my hep party song references. Splish splash I was takin' a bath.
I sort of ran around frenetically yesterday in order to forget my troubles come on get happy.
At lunchtime, I drove to rainy downtown and had lunch with my friend Kit. She has TWO vintage stores now, one here and one in Winston-Salem, where she sells vintage cigarettes. My grandmother enjoyed her a Salem Light, if I recall, but then she got into More cigarettes, which were brown. She went from a short white thing to a long brown one. I HEARD that.
The point is, we sat across from her shop "in case they drop off a busload of people or something," which lead me to wonder if she'd have hopped up from her chili and stiffed me with the bill had that happened. That is SO HER.
Really, Kit is lovely and you should all know her. The whole city does as it is, and everyone thinks they're her best friend. Did I tell you how I met her? I was downtown, early for a date with The Fireman, and I popped in there and took seven million pictures of myself in her store, and she left a comment: "Hey, that's my store!"
Thankfully she didn't sue me.
After work, I went to an ironically named happy hour with my coworkers. Please note how Alex got, like, a paddle of beer. You can drink, or you can hit someone. Your choice. Very 50 Shades. 50 Shades of Beer. Sexy. It's like Michigan porn.
Then I had to scream way, way across town and into the country, because I told my friend Lilly, of Chris and Lilly, that I'd come hang out with her last night. I'd told her "between 6:30 and 7:00," and I left that bar at 6:34 and it took me till dang twenty after 7:00 to get there. Turns out Greensboro is bigger than I thought, plus also the HURRICANE and the blinding rain and wind and you can't really, you know, SEE the traffic lanes and so on.
Anyway, I got there, and we talked about LILLY'S PREGNANCY, yes, she's pregnant again, and she's having a boy and he and Zella will be two years and 10 months apart. Could she BE more perfect, even with her kid spacing? If I were having a baby and I already had a girl and I knew a boy was next, I would change the girl's name to Lucy and name the boy Linus. It wouldn't screw up a two-year-old to start calling her something totally different all of a sudden just for the novelty, would it?
As Hulk would say, How did God not see fit to bless me with children?
Fortunately, all that running hither and yon, and then coming here and having to unpack a month's worth of living, wore me right the fuck out and I fell asleep sitting up listening to a "How to mend a broken heart" hypnosis tape. Tape. I'll fax you later, after I rewind my VCR.
Today yawns before me, but I have big plans. See above re frenetic activity. I made a deal with myself that I would try to do Tracy Chapman EVERY DAY while I'm here, because endorphins and plus also I have to get hot so I can go out and do this again and get destroyed in another four to 16 years.
"That's the good part about being single," one of the women at happy hour said last night. "No one else has the power to fuck up your mood." She raises a good point, but I've never been that person, that no-man-is-gonna-hurt-ME person. I just keep trying, like an idiot.
Anyway, so Tracy Chapman, and then Ima start working on making this blog A BOOK, and also I have to get groceries and I seem to have broken my old delapidated coffeemaker in the move here. Thank god Kaye has those bad-for-the-earth coffee pods and Dear Kaye: I owe you, like, 10 coffee pods already. Can you tell from this post?
I guess I better check to make sure no one actually purchased that cofffeemaker for me on Amazon. Everyone keeps saying when they open it, it goes to their OWN wish list and Dear Amazon: Really? You're usually so efficient. Isn't that why you make your employees work through chemo and whatnot? So you can be efficient? Yeah, I read that article. Anyway, here is the link again. Please tell me if it takes you to your own goddamn wish list again.
Anyway, then tonight I have a hurricane party to go to, which is great. We're gonna wait for it to hit us. Natural disasters! They're a hoot!
Celebrate good times, come on.
Hey good lookin', we'll be back to pick you up later.