You know, before I got back from vacation (a reader asked me to never say "vacay," so I will not), I made a vow I was not going to fill up my week with something to do every damn night, and yet it's happened again. Yesterday Ned and I spent our lunch hour looking at yet another house (nope) (too close to a really, REALLY busy street), after work I had my student, then tonight we look at another house. Wait. Lemme get you a picture.
I wonder how much I could do with the area of my brain that managed to memorize all the top 40 AM radio songs from 1975 to 1980. The piano player looks like everyone my mother dated before she met my stepfather, who marched in looking like a normal person, and I thought, "THIS one will never last." I really did.
OH MY GOD, this is how my life gets out of control. I have no focus. I have a friend whose family is from...somewhere. Somewhere south of here. Colombia? Whenever I can't remember I go with Colombia. The point is, her gramma used to tell her, "You must fukkus, Cat. You have no fukkus." My friend's name is Cat, which is super cool and I wish I was from possibly Colombia so my name would be Cat. It's probably some long pretty name like Cataralainalarininla and she goes with Cat. I've never asked.
FUKKUS! So, we have that on Tuesday, then on Wednesday we have a little bungalow to look at, and then my friend Charlie asked if I'd visit so I will this week and boom it's the weekend. What I wouldn't give for a nice week where I just get to come home after work and do nothing. I blame Ned.
So ANYWAY. I was gonna finish up about my trip so here we go.
I took Mr. Sparkling Personality, here (it's like once the camera is on him, he turns dour) (you'd think the camera was on him every day or something, to entertain thousands of people he doesn't know), to my college town to show him just everything, and what's sad is how much of that involved bars. "And here's where my friend barfed in the back." "This bar is the one where they'd call me at home if I didn't show up."
It's true, there was a bar like that, and we decided to go to that at the end of the day, the big piece of resistance. I have to stop saying that like it's funny. I'm turning into someone's grandpa. The point is, we ate and shopped and walked all over yonder on campus and went to the museum where I worked for years and finally, FINALLY, we went to that bar. We walked in the front, walked straight through to the back door, and left.
"Oh my GOD, was it always so LOUD in there?" Ned asked, horrified.
"No! No, I....wow. Maybe it was. Wow."
You can't go home again.
So my hair and I took Ned to the Peanut Barrel, which used to let you throw shells on the ground and which now in our clean, politically correct world we can no longer do. I like how peanut throwing has become political. We sat next to four computer geeks, who talked about physics and languages and it was like sitting next to the cast of Theory of Relativity of whatever that show is that I've seen like twice with that guy named Sheldon.
The point is, I would like to listen to MY deep talks that I had at the Peanut Barrel in 1985 and see what pith I came up with.
Eventually we returned to my home town, and on one of the days I took Ned to this old barn place, where they serve only local food, and the menu is quite limited to just what they have that day. It was one of those walk up and look at the board and order right there situations, which Ned is not good with, but he did it.
Sports Illustrated told everyone to send in a photo of them doing something athletic, (I could not pick just one), and they made a big picture of everyone's small picture. Hulk found exactly where his tiny picture is and showed us. He's below the U in Illustrated or something. Am certain he will write in and correct me angrily.
The good news is, he and Ned got to talk about....sports.
"Hey, Ned, sporty sport sports sport sporting!"
"Yeah, ha ha! SPORTS Sporty sport ball sport!"
"Ha ha ha! Yeah. And sport..."
Oh my god I was in a COMA.
At the end of the trip, we returned to our hotel in West Virginia that we always stay at, and it just happened to be homecoming weekend. So while we ate outside, we saw a whole fireworks show. It was an excellent way to end our vacay. Aaaaand now I've lost a reader.