Ned is back--yay!!--from his work trip, and I like how I went from being someone who lived alone for three and a half years to being scared at night without him in only three weeks. When I got home, he was already there, and he had flowers for me and he is a nice boy.
We watched The Shining last night, as we have this three-month deal where they give you 50 HBO channels so you get hooked, and then in three months they'll say, "You have to pay for this now" and we'll be all, "YES! Yes of course we'll pay for it now! Don't ever take HBO from us!" and we'll go from being people who went their whole lives without HBO to HeroinBO addicts in three months. All our HBO teeth will be rotting.
My point is that Ned said I am exactly like this when he interrupts me in here writing.
It's a shame how Ned invents things. And I dearly hope Marvin doesn't read this today, because he watched this and so nodded knowingly.
You think you can handle that, Wendy? Then why don't you start right now and get the fuck out of here.
Why did she even stay with him in the first place? He was a Crabby Appleton on the drive up. Oh, good, my husband's a DICK and we'll be snowed in together for god knows how long with our weird talking-finger son. But no, she packed 6,000 corduroy jumpers and headed off with him.
I have to stop talking about it now or there will be twins behind me. Oh, fuck, are there twins behind me?
If Iris and Lily had any sense of humor, they'd be back there holding hands.
Also, are you already tired of this new background on my webcam? No one sent me a photo of their new life with my lemon crate pictures. Before I moved, I auctioned those things off and wrote hilarious things on the back of each one, such as, "Orange you glad I sent you a lemon crate picture?" and everyone said "I'll send a photo, Joon, of my new picture at my house!" and bupkis. Imagine saying you'll send something and not doing it. I would never.
It seems like I had other things to tell you and I'll be damned if I can remember them. I didn't sleep very well, and I had a migraine all day yesterday after that aura. What I am is a barrel of laughs.
I guess I'll go on with my life and fill you in on whatever I was gonna tell you when I think of it. We're going to see David Sedaris tonight, which is exciting, as David Sedaris is the wind beneath my wongs.
I did not just accidentally type "wongs." Oh my god.
Okay, then, talk at you. I will leave you with a disc of photos I found from 2004 when I was still in LA. Some are from my father's birthday dinner at El Coyote, which he wanted to go to because Sharon Tate had her last meal there, and some are from the surprise birthday party I threw for myself. I guess Ida been 39 that year. Jack Benny's age.I think Marvin was drunk in this one. Everyone had 39394393 margaritas that night except me, who had Coke. Partayyy on, June.
I miss Renee. Just walk away, Renee. Walk to fucking Hawaii, you traitor. I act like I didn't move away, too. That cake does not read, "Karen." Oh my god they got the wrong person's cake! Somewhere Karen is having June's cake. And look what I'm holding. I think ancient man called that a cam..a camma...I can't recall. Where's my cell phone, is what I wanna know.
That's my natural hair color.
This was the front porch of my apartment. I mean, you can't see any of the front porch, but the point is this was my view. I lived in Silverlake, which was a trendy part of town, and every day I saw something interesting in my neighborhood. Plus? Pink.
I wonder what I did with that wig. I'd so wear it to work right now.
Okay, I have to go.