Look! Look, look! I got my keyboard to work again! I mean, I still can't type a capital u, see? . Right there I tried to type one. EFF YOOO, keyboard.
Still. At least it types things again.
In the meantime, the weekend happened. Ned and I stuck pins on all the candy right on time for the trick-or-treaters. Kids came to my work, too, because people at work have, you know, kids. One dressed as Santa, which is my favorite idea, ever. I was so unoriginal as a kid. Hey, how about I be some version of a princess? Once I was a BRIDE princess. Once I was a butterfly princess.
It never occurred to me to dress as a character from another holiday. Had I thought of it, I promise you I'd have gone with the tooth fairy, which totally counts as a holiday, shut up.
Speaking of dressing up. I officially sent out invitations to my dress-as-a-character-fr0m-a-song party, via evite, and people have been RSVPing yes, which is great, and then one person wrote me: "Is this finally the dress-as-a-character-from-a-song party you've been talking about?"
Dudes. The invitation, at the top, is a cassette tape. It makes a song pun at the top, then lists our address and the date of the partayy. ALL YO (no u) HAVE TO DO is scroll down HALF a millimeter, and the particulars are written below. It's maybe 20 more words.
Did ANYONE scroll and read? They did not. So now every time someone emails yes I have to email back and say, "Did you actually read the invitation? Do you know the theme?" and 80% of the time people say, well, no. There's a theme?
Sigh. Why do I have parties? I hate everything.
The point is, what food should I serve? Last night Ned and I built a fire
while we enjoyed our new old coffee table we bought at my friend Kit's store:
The point is, while we enjoyed our fire we discussed what food we could serve at our bash.
"There could be ham and there could be turkey and there could be caviar," I said to Ned.
"What?" said Ned. He did not know that Leo Sayer song! Can you imagine?
I think it's a good idea to act out EVERY WORD of your song. Also, world's most depressing set. Was he on the Electric Company's old set?
"Ooo, we could have milkshakes!" I said.
WHAT DOES NED LISTEN TO?
NPR, that's what Ned listens to. And you know how I adore NPR. NPR is the Leo Sayer set of radio.
She really, really likes her a diner. Plus, I know I'm stereotyping here, but isn't she a little thin? I mean, for this genre, shall we say. She looks good to me, but I'm not a man of color.
The point is, so far the food at our party kind of sucks. I also thought I should scatter incense and peppermint around, to which Ned said, "What?"
I'm gonna go put a lime in a coconut and drink it all up. In the meantime, suggestions?
Oh, Ned DID say we could have "whatever they mention in Hotel California. Pink champagne on ice and roast beef," he said.
"Roast beef?" And that is when I realized he thought it was "stab it with their stealy knives but they just can't kill the beef."
Okay, I gotta go get a big afro perm now. And has anyone seen my thick gold necklace? I leave you with my latest Purple Clover, which I thought was kind of funny this week, and the following 28 seconds of NedKitty with a bag on her head, totally being a Roomba.
Oprah should give her away on her next favorite things. YO (no u) get a cat with a bag on her head, and YO (no u) get a cat with a bag on her head. EVERYBODY gets a cat with a bag on her head!
Killing the beef,