I got to get up late today, because I have a doctor's appointment at 9:30. Exciting! And don't get dramatic; I'm not dying of anything. I'm going for my annual RICOLAAAAAAAA! appointment.
What a stupid-ass commercial.
Last night, Ned and I went to our old theater we like so much, where everybody knows our name and we really hope Sam and Diane get back together. The guy who always sells us our popcorn told us that they're opening the third (!!!!) level, and they'll be showing Hitchcock movies there in a few weeks. I cannot even stand it.
The first one they're showing is Rear Window, which I missed last summer and Ned saw. "Isn't that the one where you Jack Rubied me?" Ned asked. Last year, I was having some crisis du jour, and I called Ned in a lather. "I can't go!" I wailed. "I have blah de de bloo!" I can't even remember what the crisis was. I think I bounced a check or something. The point is, the whole sitch was fixed an hour later, so I called him.
He wasn't home.
"Did he...? He WENT TO THE MOVIE!?" Oh, I was mad. Shouldn't he be at home, worried sick about my bounced check? Shouldn't he be rushing over to help? I vaguely recalled his, "Is there anything I can do?" but just because I said NO didn't mean there was nothing he could DO. Didn't he understand that?
Oh, my lather was back. So at closing time of the movie, I drove over there, and as he came out of the theater like a normal person I STAMPEDED over to him. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WENT TO THE MOVIE!" I wailed.
Ned took my hand and led me to the median in the street, there, probably hoping he could push me in front of an out-of-control ice truck. "June, I asked if there was anything I could do. When you said no, I figured it was the last I'd hear from you tonight. I missed you through the whole movie. Every time I saw Grace Kelly, I thought of you."
What a dick. Who could stay mad when someone says a phony line like that? So I got over it. Then on the way to his apartment, he said, "Wow, you really came out of the crowd, there. It was like you were Jack Ruby and I was Lee Harvey Oswald."
Would you like to date me soon? I'm a prize.
So night we went to see Airplane, and I had no lathers to get into. I had completely forgotten when the guy called from the Mayo Clinic.
After the movie, we had to go to my house to be with the poor dogs, and as we were in Ned's parking lot to get my car, I stopped. "What?" asked Ned, who probably thought my gears were stuck on a mood change. "Did you hear that?" I'm like some kind of wolf, with my hearing of this particular thing. "I hear a cat." It was dark out, so it's not like cats were popping just out of everywhere. We searched for awhile and gave up. We got into my car, and Ned said, "There's your cat."
It was a catten, sitting on the wall of the parking lot. She was, like, bigger than a teeny kitten but still gangly. Dudes, I followed that thing all over yonder, and Ned went in and got food, and we could not get Lottie. I named her Lottie. If it's a boy he's totally Lot. Then Iris can be...Lot's wife. Oh, I am worried sick about Lottie, who I finally got close enough to see is brown and stripy. Someone she was quite fond of was me. She would TOTALLY go to the movies when I was in a lather.
Further reports as developments warrant. Tonight my friend The Poet is having a (wait for it) poetry reading at the local bookstore, so we're gonna go to that in our berets and goatees. I will just not Nair today.
Talk at you.
P.S. The Mayo Clinic. Oh, I am dying.